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This wot ya call a poor nigga

Kanye West has released a series of Tweets, pleading poverty. For those who don't know: Apparently he's a big celeb married to one of the Kardashians - the one with the big fat arse. Arse.

It looks as if the poor bugga/nigga can no longer support a billionaire lifestyle on a millionaire income and bleats that he is $53 million in debt. He has made an impassioned plea to the billionaire owner of Farcebook for a billion dollar donation. This is mere pocket money for Mark Zuckerberg. Here are some of my favourite Kanye Bleats, er Tweets.

KANYE WEST

✔@kanyewest

Mark Zuckerberg invest 1 billion dollars into Kanye West ideas

6:49 AM - 15 Feb 2016

KANYE WEST

✔@kanyewest

after realizing he is the greatest living artist and greatest artist of all time.

6:49 AM - 15 Feb 2016

As you can see, Kanye is a modest fella and simply wants his just desserts for being the greatest talent of all time.

KANYE WEST

✔@kanyewest

you’d rather open up one school in Africa like you really helped the country…

6:50 PM - 15 Feb 2016

Hey, he might have a point here. Why give money which only gets siphoned off to black General, Teapot Mugumbo, when you can give it directly to an equally deserving black 'gangsta rapper'. And of course, charity begins at home. Or in this case, at the local insane asylum for deluded arsetistes.

KANYE WEST

✔@kanyewest

World, please tweet, FaceTime, Facebook, instagram, whatever you gotta do to get Mark to support me…

6:44 PM - 15 Feb 2016

Tis a good idea to enlist the world to put pressure on one of the world's richest men. I’m sure everyone would like to help the deserving Kanye to achieve his dream of being handed a billion dollars for nothing. I’m convinced, and would like to initiate a charity directed toward nurturing millionaire so-called celebs facing cash flow problems or when their over-priced branded goods are not selling too well. Please send your donations, care of Flaxen Saxon, PO 234, Wellington Central Mail Office, New Zealand. Please ensure you make the cheques out to CASH: Cash for Artists too Stupid to realise they are Half-witted and talentless.

Remember:

• A mere $1,000 will support a cocaine habit for a night.
• $10,000 will ensure that an ailing celeb will be able to stay for a night at the Ritz and dine on the finest caviar and champagne. 
• An extra $1,000 will provide the services of 'Candice Marie'. A local actor, model, exotic dancer and burger technician at MacDonalds.

C’mon, you know celebs are special people and not like us simple proles. Dig deep in your pockets and help support their lavish lifestyle. I promise to forward the gelt to the most deserved of self-absorbed, shallow, egotistical twats. Honest.