Tis the magical time of year when all strife ceases and goodwill over flows from the chalice of human kindness. Regardless of creed or religious affiliation folk come together as one and peace reverberates through a land, fecund and verdant. No dissention is heard. Generosity is manifest and smiles are on the lips of everyone as they dance in unmitigated joy. Hark and hear the laughter of small children as they hold hands and frolic with joyous abandon.
Friday 25 December 2020
Wednesday 23 December 2020
Tis always good to start off with a definition of the topic under investigation, as it aids clarity of thought and purpose. And today's topic concerning the vexed issue of 'manspreading' needs all the help that can be mustered to promote, not only clarity, but comprehension.
Manspreading definition: the act or practice by a man of sitting with the legs spread wide apart (as in a public seating area) in a way that intrudes on the space of others.
Note: the definition applies solely to men, women for some reason appear to be exempt. In my mind, someone intruding onto another chair is a selfish twat, regardless of gender.
But feminists are not really concerned with the supposed issue of taking up space. They are more concerned with men ostensibly exposing their genital area as a signal of toxic masculinity. It doesn't matter if the wretch is not intruding on another's seat, the agenda is clearly centred on man bashing and a means to berate the male gender into some sort of submission.
It will not go unnoticed that men's genital bits and pieces are external and therefore an impediment to the seated male. Therefore, we spread our legs as an act of comfort. The 'boys' hate to be constricted/restricted in a cramped domain. Only by unleashing the 'beast' within are we able to garner peace and tranquility in a world gone awry.
A student from Brighton University, England was so moved by the 'problem of man spreading' that she found it necessary to invent a chair, so cunningly designed, that it prevents the incumbent from splaying akimbo.
The academic institution was so impressed that Mizzzz Fanny Whistle (makes a change from Mugumbo) was awarded the princely sum of £1,000. I'm not an entrepreneur, but I suspect the chair suitably fashioned with a wooden wedge is unlikely to be a commercial success. This is an instrument of torture and I want my twinkle, and the boys, to bask in the heady perfume that is freedom. They demand space to bathe and breathe in the cooling fresh air/hair. They will never be subject to tyranny and subjugation. Let my bits run free, unfettered and wild!
I espied a photo of Mizzzzzzzz Funny Fanny, and I must admit her appearance fulfils the ugly, fat, rabid anti-man, dyke paradigm. No shit, Flaxen.
Irrespective of the above observations, the other problem I have with the 'anti-man spreading chair' is that it is supposed to represent the culmination project for a bachelor's degree. Nailing a piece of wood to a chair does not smack of cutting edge technology and hardly represents the pinnacle of academic achievement. Awarding the design with a cash prize is an insult and affront to folks who genuinely design stuff that make our everyday life a little bit easier. Arse Bucket.
Rant over, I'm off to burn down the local 'Old Folk's Home' to assuage the beast within.
Monday 21 December 2020
Tonight will see the conjunction of the planets Jupiter and Saturn in the night sky. They will appear just a hairs breath from each other. This is the closest conjunction for 800 years. The last time, Genghis Khan and the lads were laying waste to vast regions of the known world punctuated with the occasional mound of skulls.
For simple folk, significant planet alignments have been viewed as harbingers of bad portent. Even today, the 'Doomsday Squad' are predicting unpleasant side effects accompanying this outré cosmic phenomenon. Some enterprising souls have found the following Nostradamus quatrain strangely prescient:
'And when the flaxen haired man of the Isles (no relation) doth contend with the plague,
A bright star will appear in the West and cast a baleful light/blight upon the land.
The peasantry will be confined to their council houses (sic),
And tarry not to the local pub and Harvester for unlimited salad and two steaks for one, Monday only (before 8pm)'.
I'm astonished that any sane person can see any parallels with Nostradamus' scribblings and today's momentous events. Nuff said.