Saturday, 13 February 2016

Keeping up with the Gypos

The Cast
Later this week, the Tipton Broadcasting Corporation  airs its flagship reality show: ‘Keeping up with the Gypos’. A ‘fly on the Dogshit Documentary’, follows the trials, tribulations and tax avoidance of an average ‘Gypo family', the Mugumbos.

In the first episode, we are introduced to the matriarch of the family, Ma Mugumbo. Ma is the glue which keeps the family together and sticking to the floors of their sumptuously appointed, garishly adorned caravan. This week the family faces a real dilemma when Ma declares she wants to spend all the family money on a big fat arse reduction as she can no longer squeeze through the caravan door. Predictably, the family is divided. Grampa Mugumbo reasons that the money should be spent on beer, fags and ferret sexing. Whilst Ma's recently estranged husband, Pa Mugumbo (call me Candice-Marie) wants the family funds spent on whipping orf his man bits and replacing them with an inverted plastic bag from Aldi.

Pa/Ma Magumbo

Watch the antics of the Mugumbo offspring, all 37 of them, not including several classified as none human life forms, as they negotiate the never ending cycle of drinking, stealing and haute coture.

Saviour the excitement as the Mugumbos branch out from their customary industry of stealing cars to the salubrious world of selling stuff they haven't stolen. Watch amazed as they market their new exotic fragrance aptly called: ‘Toilet Water’. It has no artificial ingredients and is composed entirely of toilet water (with solids), scooped lovingly and with sumptuous care from the pond at the edge of the encampment. It contains only the purest most virulent effluent and is priced competitively at 15 hedgehogs a gallon. 

As the series develops we will gain exclusive insight into the mysterious world of the 'The Gypo' as we pick through the detritus of their culturally diverse, enriching, empowering and exhilarating lives . Arse.

1 comment:

  1. Gypos and their culturally diverse, enriching, empowering and exhilarating lives, really are a good watch on T.V

    King of the Gypsies Tsyon Fury is usually on cracking form repeating bible quotes and calling folk wankers in the same sentence, his lovely wife Paris Fury is easy on the eye too.