Monday, 4 May 2015

All hail the baby Princess!

'God bless you, MAAAAAAAAM'!
Breaking news from Tipton's Royal Palace. The Queen of Tipton has managed to squeeze out Royal issue. Already there is intense speculation concerning the new addition's name. King Barry (for it is One) is said to favour the name, 'Vegas', while the more conservative Queen Kylie is known to prefer the name, 'Isis'. Queen Kylie in a recent interview, held forth regally: "I think Princess Isis has a lyrical quality and is evocative of peace and serenity. The Princess is a welcome addition to the family and a playmate and potential organ donor for her severely afflicted and ailing brother, Prince Mugumbo."

In commemoration of this momentous event, Mr Khan, of 'Mr Khan's Plastic Memorabilia Emporium', has instigated the production of a celebratory life-size  rendition of 'Baby Isis' fashioned from the finest and cheapest plastic. Each 'Baby Isis' doll comes with detachable heads. Critics have pointed out that Mr Khan's 'Baby Isis' has an uncanny resemblance to the 'Baby Jesus' (dicephalic edition) and is a blatant ploy by Mr Khan to shift his shoddy and unsold consignment of deformed 'Baby Jesus' dolls.

Two heads are better than one

On purchasing a Princess Isis doll, Mrs MacMugumbo had this to relate: "I expected the baby Jesus to look a lot less Jewish and he appears to have more than the requisite number of heads necessary for the resplendent one".          

Prince Shagger is not amused


  1. This stuff is getting more weird and fucked up as the months go by Flaxen, please check wether medicines are necessary and quantities taken are correct for yourself

    You remind me of bloglands answer to Noel Edmunds who hosts a hit T.V series Deal or no Deal...which stops me watching jeremy kyle anymore.

    Hope you are still able to watch both shows.


  2. Being the offspring of a Jehovah’s Witness and a paronoid sciziophrenic, what do you expect? Who needs medication under these circumstances. As for Noel Edmunds, haven't seen the chimp perform in a coon's age. Unfortunately, I am well aware of Jeremy Kyle.

    1. As is one of my friend's wife:- she's a forensic officer with West Midlands Plod, and as part of her job involves sometimes identifying the deceased through dental records, her worst nightmare is a fire in the Jeremy Kyle studio...

    2. Poor woman although a fire in the Jeremy Kyle studios could only be a blessing on society :D
      Flaxen I love your posts the bizarreness keeps me interested and entertained, it also represents what goes on in my other halfs head 99,9% of the time and so I comprehend with amazing ease your gist. Never stop. Blog land needs bizarreness to balance out all the depressing "News". I have almost ceased writing anything as the electioneering is bringing me to a point of no return in the depressing bollocks steaks. Roll on Thursday when it's all over for another 4 years.