|Snarkson and Hamster|
Jeremiah Snarkson has finally been sacked from the popular television series, 'Top Sneer'. Mr Snarkson joined the Tipton Broadcasting Corporation (TBC) on that fateful day in 1956 and quickly advanced to become the querulous but quirky presenter of the ever popular, local weekly current affairs programme, aptly named: 'The local Tipton weekly current affairs programme'. In this regard, he was ably assisted by his co-presenter, Richard, 'The Ferret' Hamster.
In 1985, Snarkson became the lead presenter of the innovative series, 'Top Sneer'. As you will no doubt recall, the whole thrust of the programme revolves around Snarkson leering and shouting abuse at a never ending stream of poor benighted folk empowered with a litany of lamentable deformities. The viewing public loved it. But Snarkson was always a controversial, polarising and flamboyant character. The TBC issued endless warnings about his reprehensible and increasingly bizarre behaviour. It all came to a festering head when Snarkson was filmed eating a baby during a live broadcast. The viewing public loved it. However, for the executives at the TBC this was the straw that finally broke the ferret's back. In an announcement today, the Director General of the TBC, Mr Farleft Mugumbo had this to say: "In view of Mr Snarkson's questionable behaviour during peak time viewing the TBC executive committee has decided, with deep regret, not to renew Mr Snarkson's contract". The future of the programme remains in the balance. Without Snarkson, many feel that the show will lose its cannibalistic edge and lustre/lucre.
Mr Snarkson, on hearing the TBC's shock decision had this to say: "It wasn't as if I ate a white baby". Mr Snarkson is likely to be offered a part in the prime time television soap opera: 'The Young and the Feckless'. Mr Snarkson will portray a dashing, debonair and wickedly violent cannibal who, recklessly, fecklessly, relentlessly and without favour porks his way through the entire cast.