Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Dudley to host the next Olympic games

Dudley's Olympic Swimming Pool
The Olympic committee have just announced that the prestigious spa town of Dudley will host the Olympic games in 2016.

 Mr Enoch Vole, the incumbent mayor of Dudley and Tipton East, had this to say: "This is a wonderful opportunity for Dudley and its illustrious/industrious people to show case our world class facilities and stuff." When asked about the lack of an Olympic sized swimming pool, Mr Vole continued to wax on lyrically: "The local Dudley to Birmingham canal will be cleaned of dead dogs and Reliant Robins. Sundry detritus and drowned drunks will be removed and placed tastefully, and in repose, on the tow path."    

Mr Khan, of 'Mr Khan's Cheap Crap Emporium' has formed an alliance with the heroic North Korean Democratic Republic State Factory to supply the Olympic medals. The medals will be fashioned from the purest weapons grade, depleted uranium. The obverse side of each medal will have an embossed representation of Kim Jong Un cradling the severed head of the infant Jesus, with the motto: 'Even the baby Jesus worships the world's leader with glazed adulation even in death.'  The reverse side features the stirring refrain: 'All bow to the beneficent North Korean leader, or die horribly.'

Mrs Linda Mugumbo, a life long Dudley resident,  when asked her opinion about the impending Olympic games, had this to say: "I hope it doesn't mean we let more wogs into the country." Wise words indeed, Mrs Mugumbo.......    

Linda Mugumbo sucking a lemon

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