Tuesday, 8 July 2014

The Odd at Sea: Part II

'Hey, has anyone seen the salt'

Captain’s Log day 42: We have been at sea for 42 days and have yet to sight land. Endless vistas of blue, unrelenting ocean. Starting to become delirious. Horsa is beginning to look like a succulent haunch of roast beef. No, he has changed into a woman, a very beautiful woman. Must remember to shag him first before eating him.

Captain’s Log day 45: Horsa tasted delicious. Me and the lads started with a urine aperitif and finished with a sea water ‘palate cleanser.’ Most refreshing.

Captain’s Log day 49: My log was firm and of homogeneous consistency. Moist, with a tang of lemon. Noticed tape worm eggs. I put it down to Horsa’s insistence on eating under cooked pork and sushi. I warned him that it might lead to problems with regard to his parasite load. But he never listened to me and now we are paying the price. What a selfish bastard.

We hear the faint strains of women keening. Have set course in their general direction. I’m hoping they taste nice….  

To be continued........


  1. You've been eating those dandelions again, haven't you?...