Tuesday 8 July 2014

The Odd at Sea: Part II

'Hey, has anyone seen the salt'

Captain’s Log day 42: We have been at sea for 42 days and have yet to sight land. Endless vistas of blue, unrelenting ocean. Starting to become delirious. Horsa is beginning to look like a succulent haunch of roast beef. No, he has changed into a woman, a very beautiful woman. Must remember to shag him first before eating him.

Captain’s Log day 45: Horsa tasted delicious. Me and the lads started with a urine aperitif and finished with a sea water ‘palate cleanser.’ Most refreshing.

Captain’s Log day 49: My log was firm and of homogeneous consistency. Moist, with a tang of lemon. Noticed tape worm eggs. I put it down to Horsa’s insistence on eating under cooked pork and sushi. I warned him that it might lead to problems with regard to his parasite load. But he never listened to me and now we are paying the price. What a selfish bastard.

We hear the faint strains of women keening. Have set course in their general direction. I’m hoping they taste nice….  

To be continued........