Saturday, 22 March 2014

In the Great Hall: Part VIII

Okay, so Echolalia wasn't wearing this exact same outfit when she visited me in the Great Hall. C'mon she's a chick and has more than one outfit! Have you ever searched on google images using the phrase: 'Red haired warrioress with gold breastplate with pierced nipple holes.' Jeez, give me a break..... Arse.

Harold the Herald: “My Lord Flaxen, Echolalia ‘The Amazon’ and her chief minister are at the great door of the Great Hall, craving an audience.”

Flaxen: ‘Bring them to me.”

Echolalia stood before Flaxen, bedecked in the finest Jutish cloth and wearing a breast plate of spun gold. Two holes had been cunningly wrought in the plate and Echolalia’s nipples poked through in erect and pert defiance. Flaxen stared blatantly at the nipples and seemed oblivious to the astonishingly crafted fretwork. In contrast, Flaxen’s son, Deirdre seemed to care nought for the maid’s teats and instead his eyes lingered over the flamboyant, ostentatious and resplendent cuirass. He wondered how the smith had fashioned the lush and discreet niello accents making the whole ensemble a bedazzling display of 9th century craftsmanship. Flaxen thought she had nice tits.

Flaxen (for it is no other): “Echolalia, what brings you here?”

Echolalia: “What brings you, here?”

Mendacity ‘The Minister’: “We come to forge an alliance. A mutual bond between our folk in a crusade against the Golders Green Jews.”

Flaxen: “Us Germanic folk have always treated the Jews with love and respect and it will always be so.”

Mendacity: “But the Jews have usurped the land. They say it is Canaan and it has been granted to them by their warrior storm god, Yahweh and his consort Asherah. They will not leave and they are dug in deeper than a tic on a hound.”

Flaxen: “This is of no concern of the Tipton Saxons.”

Mendacity: “But they are swarthy complected (not a real word), have hooked noses and say shalom, a lot.”

Flaxen: Shalom, you say!

Echolalia:” Shalom, you say?”

Flaxen: “Forget what I said previously. I am convinced. We shall oppress this people and they shall rue the day they ever uttered the accursed word, shalom.”

Ecolalia: “Shalom.”

Flaxen: “Also I am capricious, quirky and full of whims.”

Mendacity: “We march together, on the morrow!”

Flaxen: “Raise the host we go to war with the Golders Green Jews! Henceforth this quest shall be known as ‘Pogroms Progress.’ My mighty sword, ‘Arse big fat arse biter’ will smite many a Jew, this day.”

Echolalia: “Arse.”

Flaxen: “Oy vey……”

To be continued………

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