Wednesday 20 July 2016

Tipton faked the moon landings!

Mr Loony in a rare moment of clarity

Shock news from the sprawling but pert town of Tipton. Mr Swiveleyed Loony, a keen amateur astronomer and regular inmate of the local secure mental health facility had this to say from his padded cell: "I have incontrovertible evidence that the Tipton Aeronautical Research Space Establishment (ARSE) faked all of the supposed moon landings during the late 1960s and early 1970s. The whole charade was filmed exclusively in the storeroom of Mr Khan's halal meat emporium and bespoke pork butchers. The Tipton spacecraft was merely a mock up consisting of pigs feet and calf carcases all cunningly fashioned and held together with the finest beef dripping (yum)".

Fuzz Mugumbo reposing in the space capsule

"The photographic evidence of the moon is clearly a travesty. For instance in the scene on the moon where Fuzz Mugumbo is seemingly moon walking you can clearly see that his 'spacesuit' has not been buttoned up correctly and his helmet is at a jaunty angle and positively askew. If he was really prancing about the lunar landscape he would have suffered a catastrophic loss of oxygen leading to death by anoxia".

"And another thing, the 'moon ferret' brought back to earth was none other than Fuzz's pet ferret, Shagger with antennae strapped to his head". Go Shagger!

Space ferret or Shagger?
 An ARSE spokesman responded when challenged about the so called Tipton moon landings: "Of course Tipton put a man on the moon. How can anyone honestly think that the whole episode was fabricated in a Tipton abattoir. Surely the hot studio lights would cause incipient putrefaction and the whole enterprise would smell something offal......"      
Flaxen talking out of his ARSE, again


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