Flaxen banging on about Tipton, once again



'Baby Doc' in happier days with his entourage

Shocking news from the austere, authoritarian, utilitarian state of North Tipton! It has just been announced by the military government that the incumbent Mayor of Tipton, 'Baby Doc' Vowel has been exposed as running a despotic, autocratic tyranny and haberdashery. The signs have been apparent for anyone to see if they could be bothered to seek. But 'Baby Doc' was held in such awe, fear and reverence that few questioned his penchant for dressing as a full general in high heels.

On hearing the news on North Tipton's sole and official radio station: 'The glorious airways for the promulgation of truth and reality in the glorious state of North Tipton', Mrs No Ipod, wailed vexedly: "I always considered our Mayor to be a bit of a poncy twat, but he did look good in nipple rouge.”

Baby Doc will be remembered for his aggressive posture toward the neighbouring state of South Tipton. In particular ‘Baby Doc’ repeatedly threatened to release weapons grade effluent into South Tipton’s water supply unless they supplied copious amounts of high heels and sundry haberdashery. Political pundits have forever pontificated on the inherent instability of a regime predicated on repression and total isolation. However, due to a continual, unfettered televisual programming of reality shows, such as: ‘I’m a dwarf lesbian single mother with ASD, living the dream in North Tipton- get me out of here’, most of the citizens have lost the ability for cogent sentient thought.  

There is speculation about who will take over the role of North Tipton's charismatic dictator. Smart money is on 'Baby Doc's infant son, 'Mini-Baby Doc'. Although only 4 years old, he has already won over the hearts and weapons of Tipton's ruling military elite.

'Baby Doc' will be executed later today by a barrage of invective and stale pork pies.

No Ipod