Resurrection, two thousand years later.......

O, Lordy, Lordy. To be honest, nothing really surprises me about news arising from Africa. Africa certainly lives up to its name, ‘The Darkie Continent’. A continent of extreme poverty, extreme violence, extreme corruption and extreme stupidity. But now and again a story emerges from this disease infested land which is so astonishing, so unbelievably asinine that it steals my breath away and robs me of any hope that Africa will ever be accepted into the bosom of any real civilisation.

For primitive barbarism look no further than a recent story emerging from stygian Johannesburg, South Africa. It is reported that a Jo’berg Pastor, named Ipad Mugumbo (perhaps), raised a man from the dead in front of a myriad of credulous parishioners. Astonished readers, please refer below to savour the unfolding video of this miraculous event, in all its garish and uncomprehending glory. Note the acting: surely worthy of an Oscar or two. The dead man arises from his coffin in bemused bedazzlement. Onlookers look on, tautology notwithstanding. Although to be fair, most closest to the event appear unconvinced as to the veracity of this supposed suspension of natural law. Could it be that they are party to this charade? Or perhaps, miracles are fairly commonplace in this part of the world? Do you think that the preacher is performing this preternatural phenomenon for nowt? Or do you think he’s taking money from the numerous onlookers for services given?  It is frank testament to how dumb, ill-educated and gullible Mugumbo’s congregation are in that they are prepared to follow, and no doubt hand over gelt, to this dusky charlatan. Folk this stupid deserve, nay demand to be fleeced and left to skulk to their well-deserved life of utter deprivation and filth.       

Watch and weep

The dead fella becoming a live fella is technically a zombie. And what do we do to zombies? We burn them, preferably with napalm. As an aside, the pastor seen here, bestriding the stage like a colossus happens to be the richest preacher in Africa. No shit say I. Mayhap we should burn him too?