Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Flaxen’s Frolicking Ferreting Fun

                                               'Keep still, keep very still'

When not crushing skulls of my fallen enemy and carousing, I'm often out and about exercising my ferret, Felix. Ferrets make great pets and combine the enviable qualities of cuteness and extreme viciousness within one lithe, sinuous frame. Even Eingar, my faithful Wolf, and most steadfast of companions, doth baulk when Felix enters the Great Hall. Good boy, Eingar! Ferrets know no fear and are ideal for removing sundry rodents which collect in and around the midden pit. Whilst in my cups I have been known to place Felix down my breeches as a test of bravado and folly. The secret is to keep very still and not to get too excited. Ferrets are primed to react to sudden movement and Mustelidae recreation is best left to times when amorous thoughts are kept to a minimum. By a lucky stroke of fate, my ability to sustain an erection during inebriation waneth mightily and therefore I'm saved from an otherwise sound and undoubtedly well-deserved unmanning.    

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