Saturday, 7 July 2018

Wakey Wakey

                             I am not a morning person

Over the past 40 years, I have dutifully risen at 6.30am every morning for work. However, I've never really adjusted to functioning at this time in the morning. Everything had to be set up and organised the night before. Clothes laid out, sandwiches made, and car keys exactly in the same place. Every morning consisted of a stumbling, shambling gait, in the semi-dark, as I entertained an imperfect error prone ritual. Sandwiches would be forgotten, and on several occasions odd shoes worn. The odd shoe scenario caused much mirth amongst my colleagues, although it was recognised as part and parcel of my many quirks. Civility and civilisation would only occur after my second cup of strong coffee.

Since retirement I've been suiting myself and rarely rise before 10.00am and to be honest I feel much better for the new regime. I'm not a night Owl either and generally, I'm tucked in and ready for sleep for about 10.00pm. This retirement thingy is certainly to be recommended, tis a wonder I didn't retire years ago. Perhaps the prospect of starving to death was too much to bear?


  1. You could have retired early had you but planned it properly:-

    0600 Mrs Flax arises to be on time for her morning paper-round.
    0730 Mrs Flax returns to cook your breakfast.
    0830 Mrs Flax leaves for her full-time job.
    1700 Mrs Flax leaves her full-time work premises.
    1730 Mrs Flax collects papers for her evening paper-round,
    1830 Mrs Flax arrives home to cook your dinner (you've lunched at the pub).
    1930 Mrs Flax leaves for her evening barmaid job.

    So you see, you could have retired as a young man.

    1. Tis a wonder I didn't engage your cunning scenario. My only concern is the 7.30 breakfast- need to wait until 11.00 before I'm fully aroused.

  2. The breakfast could have been prepared at 0730 and the popped in the fridge until you emerged circa 1100 to microwave it. I feel that you could also have had a lie-in until 1200, and required Mrs Flax to pop home in her lunch hour to prepare your breakfast.

    Think and plan!

    1. Sounds like a plan, Ted. Mayhap I could send the lass out to work anyway. Give me more time to 'spoil' my much younger mistress. You only live once, Ted.