Sunday, 6 March 2016

Howling at the Moon

Guess the gender. I'll have a stab in the dark and call them pooftahs

As my regulars are no doubt aware I’m not a fan of political correctness. It makes wishy-washy liberals of us all, totally afraid to open our mouths in case we offend lesbian, disabled single mothers of unenhanced financial status. Also, I’ve reached an age where I pretty much do as I please, within the law, and therefore, subject to much strange looks and head shaking throughout the day. At my age, I’ve earned the right to piss myself in the ‘Exotic lard Isle’ in the local supermarket. When confronted by a nonplussed assistant I just look confused and shout, “wibble:”, very loudly. That’ll teach the bastards for not supplying toilets for: ‘mature middle-class men who are amazing for their age and have a wicked glint in their eye’- by the way, I've only got one eye and thus consider myself', 'ocularly challenged'. Definitely not, that 'Cyclops twat' with an unhealthy habit of bumping into furniture on the left-hand side. Anyway, the body has a remarkable way of compensating and I am endowed with an extra nipple. This, of course, is a vestige in a man and therefore totally fucking useless. I've digressed. I refuse to use the unisex variant (I'm back to toilets), which is an abomination in the sight of man, or humankind depending where you stand on the liberal political spectrum. And this has nothing to do with incontinence. I refuse to wear those so-called adult 'nappies’ as they chafe something awful and no matter what the brochure says they still leak. So to maintain the spirit of a grumpy old curmudgeon here is a particularly insane/inane aspect of politically correct shite which forces me to howl at the moon.

When I was growing up in the salubrious suburbs of Tipton, there was a simple choice of two genders. In case you have forgotten, they are male and female. I have no problem with a person’s sexual orientation. Everyone is entitled to a sexual outlet and an individual's sexual orientation is no one's business but their own and, of course, the people they sleep with. However, homosexuality is not a gender but a sexual preference. I am willing to concede that on very rare occasions it is difficult to assign gender. These examples represent cases of intersex where the individual will have both male and female reproductive organs. In these instances, an inter-gender state is an appropriate designation. This gives us three gender states. As gender is a biological designation and not a social construct, this is all you get. Otherwise, we are talking about lifestyle choices, not gender. Thus Facebook  in their wisdom and a pandering to any fucktard social worker with a gender agenda, have upped the number of 'genders' to an interesting and biologically impossible gender assignment of 50. This strikes me as a suspiciously round number. Why not 49 or 51 genders? I've added a link for the bi-curious. So, let us have some sport with Facebook's incredibly diverse gender assignations (sic). No matter how many they propose you can be assured some weirdo will suggest another. Isn't human nature diverse and fascinating?        

Here are some highlights. And by the way, for the purpose of balance and fairness, I've actually looked this stuff up; may Woden forgive me.

Gender fluid:  Gender identity best described as a dynamic mix of boy and girl. A person who is Gender Fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel more boy some days, and more girl other days. Being Gender Fluid has nothing to do with which set of genitalia one has, nor their sexual orientation.

Commentary: This is simply fucked up. I have no idea what these people are but they are way out on a social limb. You bet these folk live in 'socially unenhanced environments' with their stumbling drug enhanced peers. Nothing wrong with drugs, by the way; all in moderation.

Cis Man: There is also a 'Cis Male', although I'm unclear of the distinction. In this post I'll be exclusively dealing with, 'Cis Man': A non-transgendered male. A naturally-born man or boy whose psychological gender identity is socially male also. Clarification: A Cis Male is not necessarily macho, or even of average masculine persona. A Cis Male might have some or many characteristics that are feminine, effeminate, or female-like, but unless he seeks to project a female persona, he is still a Cis Male.

Commentary: I have absolutely no idea what the fuck is being said here. In this instance we enter the world of extreme social worker, psycho-analyst babble speak and we are starting to lose the use of the English language as we know it. If anyone meets a 'Cis Man' please let me know so I can find him and beat his pretentious self-inflated smug face into a bloody pulp. And don't get me going about 'Cis Males'.

Polygender: A person who has multiple genders. The genders can either fluctuate or be simultaneously present. Aside of male and female a polygender person's genders can include non-binary identities as well (genderqueer, agender, neutrois, etc).

Commentary: At this stage I'm starting to lose the will to live. Is there anyone out there who actually knows someone in the real world who describes themselves as polygender? Perhaps in the rarefied atmosphere that is 'The Theatre' you might occasionally bump into a member of this rare breed. Histrionics aside, I would like to think they are the type living in a lonely garret slowly succumbing to malnutrition and consumption. Cough. One less  polygender ?individual is always going to be good news.
Of course, there are another 47 definitions to work through. Don't bother, after a while, they all sound the same. Now you know why I'm driven to burn stuff. Please don't call me an arsonist (arse), tis such a pejorative term. I prefer, 'incendiary curious'.

                                                  Mad drunk bloke without a girlfriend


  1. They missed out "Totally fucked up", "What the fuck" and "Who gives a fuck"

    Interestingly, they didn't include 'Other' or 'None of the Above'. Most of their descriptions appear to be variations of the same word.

    It's all total bollocks isn't it? Typical Farcebook. Thought up by people with fuck all better to do. The sort of people who describe their religion as "Jedi" on census forms. Twats in other words...

  2. Transgender: you couldn't cut the mustard with your original equipment so you demand that society buy you new equipment and erect special facilities for you to dispose of your urine and feces.

    And lord help the public official who tells you to sod off.