 |
| Arse, shit, bugger |
Christmas comes but once a year. Sadly it lasts 6 months
I hate bloody Christmas. Goodwill to all men? They can bugger orf. Most folk are irksome and don’t magically become less so because of some pagan Yuletide festival. Let me be to contemplate the injustice of an insensate uncaring universe in the comfort of my book bestrewn study. In quiet moments of despair, I can sit in a darkened corner, coiled in the foetal position, gently rocking.
 |
| Bah humbug |
There is a special place in hell reserved for those who erect the Christmas tree and bedeck their hovels with decorations in November. My place of work placed a large tree in the foyer two weeks ago. Last year it got nicked. I'm hoping for a repeat performance.
Yo, blood ho............
Did I ever tell you I'm a miserable old curmudgeon bastard?
".......Let me be to contemplate the injustice of an insensate uncaring universe in the comfort of my book bestrewn study. In quiet moments of despair, I can sit in a darkened corner, coiled in the foetal position, gently rocking......."
ReplyDeleteYou can't be both 'siting' AND 'coiled in the foetid position' at the same time. You are in a darkened corner, curled in the foetal position, hugging your knees and gently rocking. Don't forget the keening though, that's always a nice touch.
And shouldn't the word 'curmudgeon' take either the adjectival or adverbial form?
ReplyDelete".....miserable old curmudgeony bastard...."
".....miserable old curmudgeonly bastard....."
Or perhaps be appended to the word 'bastard' with an hyphen to create a compound noun:
"......miserable old curmudgeon-bastard......"
I think it best, in the future, you avoid sentences with complex syntax and grammar and just refer to yourself as a 'cunt'.
Inniit?
Perhaps curmudgeny would have been more correct- although I'm not sure it is a real word. The sitting and coiled bit is a more problematical conundrum. I view it as a continuum First I sit and then I coil, then I rock, all in a swift deft movement. I did think about the keening. Actually a low moan of quiet despair is more appropriate.
ReplyDeleteXmas comes but once too often.
ReplyDelete"Did I ever tell you I'm a miserable old curmudgeon bastard?"
ReplyDeleteYou never needed to: why do you think so many like-minded individuals (of which I am but one) are drawn to your site?
Okay
ReplyDeleteNow that I finally bothered to research the word 'insensate', I've a new criticism. "an insensate uncaring universe" is so wrong on at least two levels.
A) There should be either a comma or the conjunction 'and', placed between the word 'insensate' and the word 'uncaring'.
B) The two words mean the same thing. It's redundant. It's a fucking pleonasm! In writing, the sin of a pleonasm is less forgivable than buggering cows on the street in New Delhi.
Tis artist licence, innit. Double negatives; redundancy; Juxtaposition of pleasing sounding words; alliteration and so forth. Rules don't apply to the perfectly formed flaxen haired one. Also, I'm quite mad. Mad I tell ya.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm quite mad. Mad I tell ya
ReplyDeleteClever.
Doesn't The above Scrooge say that while feathering his hair with his fingers?