|Private Bushido in repose|
Breaking news from the picturesque hamlet of Tipton. A Japanese sniper has been discovered/uncovered lurking in the municipal midden pit within the environs of Tipton's premier recreational area- '
and Recreational Area'.
Private (First Class) Karate Nagasaki was found sequestered on the immaculately
coiffured lawn adjacent to the marble memorial to the incumbent Mayor Mr Enoch
Vowel-Strangler. Private Nagasaki parachuted into the Tipton
Midlands on that fateful day of Friday, the 3rd of January, 1945.
He was commissioned to assassinate the then incumbent Mayor, Mr Enoch Vowel-Strangler
(Snr). Unfortunately for ,
his spectacles shattered on landing. Private Nagasaki, like all Japanese
snipers, was extremely short sighted and hence was doomed to roam the park for
seven decades like an itinerant Japanese tourist, sans camera. Nagasaki
For the last 70 years Nagasaki has subsisted on a diet of half eaten kebabs and remnants of fish 'N' chips discarded unto the midden pit by drunken revellers after a night at a Tipton's premier night spot: 'Mr Patel's Disco Ago Go and Laundry'.
|Private (first class) Hara Kiri' s last supper|
After his apprehension
related tales of his fanatical devotion to the Emperor god and war criminal,
Hirohito. Sadly, Private Hiroshima was
killed in his cell, by his 'celly', Lugless Douglas. Apparently, Dougy, took
exception to Private Kendo's obsession with origami. After a particularly inept
attempt to fashion the likeness of a Geisha out of used toilet paper, the
Dougster snapped and strangled the dirty little nip, with his socks. Nagasaki
Private Bullettrain will be tossed back into the midden pit after a private ceremony officiated by the Right Reverend, Sanctimonious Mugumbo.
|The Right Reverend Sanctimonious Mugumbo. Arse, fick. girls.|