Sunday, 3 January 2016


Prison is a secure repository for society's mad, the bad and the sad. Gaol is the price we pay for civilisation. Us gentle folk need to be protected from those that don't obey the rules and get caught for their transgressions. Some crims are just too damned smart and never have had their 'collar felt'. And so our prisons become the dumping ground for the less intellectually able of our citizens. Intelligence tests on inmates have shown that the IQ of the prison population is about 15 to 20 points less than the general population. Are stupid folk more prone to criminal activity or do they just get caught more often than their smarter brethren?

There is a genetic condition where males have an extra Y chromosome: 47,XYY, or Jacob's syndrome; I know Jacob by the way and she is not a nice person. It affects 1 in a 1000 males and generally these men are unremarkable. They tend to be taller than the average man and their IQs, as a population group, are lowered by about 20 points. What is interesting though, is that the incidence of this condition in prisons is about 1in 100 males. Originally it was thought that these males were hyper-males due to the extra Y chromosome and that this conferred an aggressive temperament which was responsible for these men getting into trouble. The problem with this hypothesis is that these men are no more aggressive than anyone else. The reason is more mundane. Their crimes reflect the criminal pattern of many inmates: they are petty criminals. Could it be that their lower IQs predispose them to rash and ill-considered actions? Anyway, here is a collection of criminal mugshots for your perusal and viewing pleasure accompanied with dry and droll comment from your gracious host. Arse.

Too much growth hormone
This soon to be incarcerated individual suffers from acromegaly. Due to an excess production of growth hormone, by the pituitary gland, there is overgrowth of the hands, feet and face. This gives the sufferer an imposing and physically impressive demeanour. No bad thing when you are banged up with 'Big Bad Bubba'.

King of the Giraffes

Do I begin with the startle reflex or the long neck? To be honest, I'd be startled with a neck like that. A long neck on a woman is considered desirable in many cultures. Certain African tribes elongate their necks with successive rings. The consort of King Harold of England was renowned for her long neck and was popularly known as Edith 'Swan Neck'. Of course, at some stage, a long neck just becomes a deformity.

Ain't life cruel

This is the face of recidivism. You can tell this is not his first time behind the police camera. This man has spent a long time behind bars and he ain't getting out soon.

Nice lips

I'm guessing that this man has made a lot of bad decisions in his life. He, no doubt, will put it down to society not giving him an even break. Society has got you pegged and you have been banged to rights- no parole.


I always knew he was a bad seed. You can meditate all you like in B wing. Funny but prison issue is orange as well; should blend right in. By, the way, he looks like my uncle Reggie except for the Asian slant. And uncle Reggie is no stranger to 'Strangeways'.

Helter Skelter

Here we have an ageing Charles Manson. What an odious little toad he is replete with swastika tattoo. The tattoo reminds me of an old friend/fiend called 'Bandy'. Bandy is long gone and met his maker after a motorcycle accident. When I was young and very foolish, I was a member of a motorcycle gang and Bandy was also a patched member. I live the idyllic middle-class dream these days, but frankly, it was a close-run thing. The one thing he had in common with the lovely Manson was that he had a crude swastika tattoo on his forehead applied with Indian ink when banged up in Winson Green Nick. Bandy was a character and had the endearing characteristic of being cheerfully violent; O we did laugh. Anyway, Bandy always bemoaned the fact that society was against him and he could never get a job. His lack of insight was a puzzle to me until he told me he had had an intelligence test whilst in prison. Apparently he was a genius and his test score came out at 75. He actually believed you had to double that score to get the desired result. Poor Bandy was doomed from the day he was born.      


  1. "......and their IQs, as a population group, are lowered by about 20 points......."

    It is my understanding these unfortunate 'Super Males' suffer only a slight decrease in IQ: their main problems being 'potential' behavioural, learning and developmental perturbation. In other words, if one gets borned with this particular flavour of the various sex chromosome aneuploidies - alea non iacta est! Clotho may have spun the thread, but Lachesis and Atropos hold back. Kismet is not so!
    Your thesis is flawed and I think you smell!

    And your first so called, miscreant/reprobate is none other than Andre The Giant, star of The Princess Bride. I hope his estate sues your Kiwi arse off for this post - he was one of the good guys.

  2. I knew it was Andre the giant and yes he is one of the 'good guys' and yes my humour can be in bad taste. Humour is a funny old thing and something that might tickle my funny bone may not tickle yours. As an aside I hold no grudge against the Dalai Lama either; he is a brave spokesperson for his oppressed people. I do seem to recall that your humour can be robust at times- I actually find most of your humour (the stuff I understand leastways) clever and funny. I shouldn't have to explain this to you. I do so because of the immense respect I have for you.

    As for the IQ thingy, it is not as clear cut as you seem to think. I have had several conversations on the matter with Dr Pat Jacobs. She stands by her original work in this area and believes that IQs are significantly reduced. She is of the opinion that later studies are flawed. Science is not always clear cut; tis a human pursuit after all. To be honest this is not my area of expertise and on this occasion I decided to 'quote' Dr Jacobs as she is the acknowledged expert in the field. Of course this reduction is an average and most of XYYs will fall within the normal range. Most XXYs remain undetected as they remain under the 'medical radar'.

  3. Of course you find most of my dross clever and funny - that's because it is fucking IS funny and clever.
    Your crap, on the other hand. tickles only your funny bone. And that's a filthy habit by the way - tickling your own funny bone.
    When you write something actually funny, I'll let you know. And if you consider something of mine to be humour of a 'robust' nature, it is probably because I was not trying to be funny.
    You may not, but I do hold a grudge against the Dalai Lama. The man's constant calm and peaceful demeanor irks me. He needs a Dharma wheel shoved up his saffron-robed arse!
    Science, by definition, is clear-cut. It's those who are engaged in it's pursuit who aren't. And what does Klinefelter's have to do with anything?

  4. Shit should have been XYY; changed. As for science being clear cut: Karl Popper would disagree- I don't subscribe to Popper's viewpoint. But as you know, empirical knowledge can never be absolute.

  5. Popper's dead. He can't disagree with shite!
    Nonsense anyway!
    The Pythagorean Theorem is absolutely empirically known.
    1 + 1 = 2 (and don't even think about mentioning binary.)

    Besides, anybody with a surname like 'Popper' should not be allowed a viewpoint.

  6. Remember Spider Scott, "The XYY Man"?
    Good TV series in it's day - shame the bloke that starred in it when on to play oily Ken in Howard's Way. Rather broke the spell for me...