Gaol

Prison is a secure repository for society's mad, the bad and the sad. Gaol is the price we pay for civilisation. Us gentle folk need to be protected from those that don't obey the rules and get caught for their transgressions. Some crims are just too damned smart and never have had their 'collar felt'. And so our prisons become the dumping ground for the less intellectually able of our citizens. Intelligence tests on inmates have shown that the IQ of the prison population is about 15 to 20 points less than the general population. Are stupid folk more prone to criminal activity or do they just get caught more often than their smarter brethren?

There is a genetic condition where males have an extra Y chromosome: 47,XYY, or Jacob's syndrome; I know Jacob by the way and she is not a nice person. It affects 1 in a 1000 males and generally these men are unremarkable. They tend to be taller than the average man and their IQs, as a population group, are lowered by about 20 points. What is interesting though, is that the incidence of this condition in prisons is about 1in 100 males. Originally it was thought that these males were hyper-males due to the extra Y chromosome and that this conferred an aggressive temperament which was responsible for these men getting into trouble. The problem with this hypothesis is that these men are no more aggressive than anyone else. The reason is more mundane. Their crimes reflect the criminal pattern of many inmates: they are petty criminals. Could it be that their lower IQs predispose them to rash and ill-considered actions? Anyway, here is a collection of criminal mugshots for your perusal and viewing pleasure accompanied with dry and droll comment from your gracious host. Arse.

Too much growth hormone

This soon to be incarcerated individual suffers from acromegaly. Due to an excess production of growth hormone, by the pituitary gland, there is overgrowth of the hands, feet and face. This gives the sufferer an imposing and physically impressive demeanour. No bad thing when you are banged up with 'Big Bad Bubba'.

King of the Giraffes

Do I begin with the startle reflex or the long neck? To be honest, I'd be startled with a neck like that. A long neck on a woman is considered desirable in many cultures. Certain African tribes elongate their necks with successive rings. The consort of King Harold of England was renowned for her long neck and was popularly known as Edith 'Swan Neck'. Of course, at some stage, a long neck just becomes a deformity.

Ain't life cruel

This is the face of recidivism. You can tell this is not his first time behind the police camera. This man has spent a long time behind bars and he ain't getting out soon.

Nice lips

I'm guessing that this man has made a lot of bad decisions in his life. He, no doubt, will put it down to society not giving him an even break. Society has got you pegged and you have been banged to rights- no parole.

TWAT

 

I always knew he was a bad seed. You can meditate all you like in B wing. Funny but prison issue is orange as well; should blend right in. By, the way, he looks like my uncle Reggie except for the Asian slant. And uncle Reggie is no stranger to 'Strangeways'.

Helter Skelter

Here we have an ageing Charles Manson. What an odious little toad he is replete with swastika tattoo. The tattoo reminds me of an old friend/fiend called 'Bandy'. Bandy is long gone and met his maker after a motorcycle accident. When I was young and very foolish, I was a member of a motorcycle gang and Bandy was also a patched member. I live the idyllic middle-class dream these days, but frankly, it was a close-run thing. The one thing he had in common with the lovely Manson was that he had a crude swastika tattoo on his forehead applied with Indian ink when banged up in Winson Green Nick. Bandy was a character and had the endearing characteristic of being cheerfully violent; O we did laugh. Anyway, Bandy always bemoaned the fact that society was against him and he could never get a job. His lack of insight was a puzzle to me until he told me he had had an intelligence test whilst in prison. Apparently he was a genius and his test score came out at 75. He actually believed you had to double that score to get the desired result. Poor Bandy was doomed from the day he was born.