Like many biologists, I assumed that human evolution was now defunct. And this had become the case since we had arrived at a sedentary lifestyle following the 'Agricultural Revolution'. My assumption was that the loss of adaptive pressures resulted in 'Evolutionary Stasis'. We no longer had to wander around the savannah/tropical rainforest/temperate woodland/etc in lioncloth, or buck naked to earn a living.
The hunter-gatherer existence is seen by some folk as the ideal state of man. They conjure a romantic vista of bliss in which we return to nature and live in harmony with Mother Earth. This may sound compelling as they sit at Starbucks, sipping a double crappuccino with extra cream. However, the reality was apparently a never-ending cycle/circle of marginal survival. Adaptive pressures favoured a physique slimmed to the bone during hunting season. Hunting was gruelling work requiring bursts of raw speed to drag down injured prey. To survive winter, when the pickings were sparse, Mother Nature beloved those who could store fat efficiently to endure long, involuntary fasts; mayhap today, too efficiently. Mother Nature bestowed blessings on the strong and fleet of foot, and metabolically efficient. Women cherished and lent their bodies to the best hunters for vigorous and unrelenting carnal lust - men who could sire fine sons fit to live and thrive in a raw, atavistic arena that is LIFE.
Even so, life was short and brutish. No modern anodyne to cure their ills. Most women would eventually die in childbirth. A wound or a minor infection that could be cleared up today with antibiotics would result in death or permanent disability. This hard, rigid subsistence demanded full participation by members. There may be truth in the story that the Eskimo women of old, when old, could no longer soften leather with their teeth due to years of diligent attrition. Worn to the bone, aged teeth had served/survived their burden. These women, mayhap no older than 35, would accept their final lot and, with impending doom, wander off into the white-tippexed landscape and take the last trudge unto eternity. Frankly, I think Captain Oates just went out for a fag and got lost. Did this happen? I would like to think so, as it fits neatly with the narrative.
Since Darwin's radical theory that species evolved as a consequence of adaptive forces, environmental or otherwise, came forth, evidence supporting the theory has accumulated across a variety of scientific disciplines. One hundred and seventy years after the publication of Darwin's book, 'On the Origin of Species', the theory proposed by Charles Darwin has become canon in biological thought, and there is little doubt that it is the bedrock and foundation stone of all biological processes. No professional biologist, if serious in the prosecution of biological endeavour and progress, can deny the tenets of Evolution and its role in sculpting life.
My assumption about the lack of human evolution's continuation was in error. I am happy to accept and concede my mistake and ascribe the lapse to a case of Intellectual Hubris. Furthermore, there is a common misconception among those not well-versed in evolutionary theory that adaptive evolution is somehow directed toward a course of 'excellence'. Excellence is a qualitative term, and it is pertinent to ask what adaptation(s) would be expected or desired. For instance, can we envision 'Retrogade Adaptation', in which the qualities favoured may lead to a lower overall IQ in a population? And it must be stressed that adaptation will be limited to within distinct breeding populations. Not all of humanity needs to partake, or is privileged to have access to my bestoke genetic profile. We can watch from the sidelines, thus reinforcing our ingrained and deeply held prejudices. Remember, folks, stereotypes are there for a reason. For some, having a low IQ may be seen as a positive outcome. No more pesky thinking and difficult reading, and stuff. Just sit back and collect the welfare cheque. For this group, this may be considered a step in the right direction rather than a retrogade one. By the way, retrograde is a concept in astronomy, not biology. The mere fact that they could neither spell 'retrogade' (or retrograde), nor comprehend their meanings, has no bearing or relevance at all, at least to them
Evolution does not necessarily proceed to make a species more attractive, intelligent, or less spotty. No, evolution is concerned only with differential reproduction and death, resulting from adaptation to specific environmental pressures experienced by a population over time. And those imperatives may change with time. Is it possible that we are witnessing a divergence, a dichotomy, if you will, from the base human population? This observation, hypothetical or otherwise, could align with my hypothesis, which I will describe shortly and tentatively strive to bolster with empirical evidence.
This work has been funded by a grant from the Tipton Institution of Difficult Shit and Stuff, under the auspices of Prof. Ipod Mugumber. I would like to thank Prof. Mugumbo and the esteemed board members of the institution for allowing me to take a sabbatical from my onerous teaching duties. Not only will this generous largesse provide sufficient funding for my essential and highly important research work, but it will also fund a research assistant hand-picked by me. I would therefore like to welcome Miss Nubile Legsakimbo to the team. Miss Legsakimbo comes with impeccable credentials, including her High School Leaving Certificate, confidently asserting, 'Most Likely To Get Knocked Up Within The Year' and an 'Ecdysiat Practitioner Certificate, Third Class' (Failed). She also comes with a recommendation from 'Ten Gilda Hilda', indigent of Amsterdam.
My Hypothesis, which is all mine and no one else's
Caveat: This work represents preliminary, 'proof of concept' research, and if my initial findings provide strong indicators in line with the proposed tentative hypothesis, it is my intention to expand data acquisition from not only 'Aldis Tipton', but I will also mine data from 'Netto Tipton', with a possible extension into the same supermarkets within the Dudley metropolitan precinct.
Hypothesis, as put forth by Dr Flaxen Saxon:
Denizens and folk who inhabit 'budget-friendly' supermarkets are experiencing rapid, unprecedented adaptive pressures, resulting in morphological and intellectual changes in line with evolutionary change.
Commentary on Proposed Hypothesis
Furthermore, quantitative metric measurements can be observed and recorded, and empirical data can be assessed to determine whether they are consistent with the previously stated null hypothesis. Depending on the result, a decision will be made regarding the continuance of this research project.
Initial Contemplation Leading to Hypothesis
Look around your local supermarket, Aldi is perfect for this type of observation. What do we see? Do we see a tribe of hunter-gatherers, sleek and fit, ready to chase down a wounded gazelle? Or do we see a herd of fattened, wretched sows, of both sexes? Admittedly, modern living, with all that it brings, has saved us from the horrors that afflicted our ancestors. But that doesn't mean we must necessarily devolve into amorphous, unhealthy 'Pudding Folk'.
At the conclusion of this valuable research, my results will be presented, in monograph format, in the prestigious and estimable scientific journal: 'Tipton Journal For Advancement of Sciency Stuff and Very Hard Sums and Shit'. It is a fervent hope that my seminal and groundbreaking research will be completed before the adjudication of the Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine (2027). Nuff said.
The second blog in this series will showcase the data and conclusions from this study. Watch this space, and perhaps weep.
