Today, with pride and honour, the incumbent Mayor of Tipton, Mr 'Baby Doc' Vowel, officiated at the opening of Tipton's only premier mall, appropriately called: 'Tipton’s only Premier Mall'. To inaugurate the inauspicious opening, Mr Vowel threw a half-eaten donner kebab at the front entrance. The kebab promptly slipped sluggishly to the floor, whence it instantly congealed into a glistening morass/mass. This momentous event augurs well for the future of this prestigious establishment.
Even before the mall opened, half the shops were boarded up and covered in ill-conceived graffiti. The clutch of Pawn/Porn shops are expected to thrive as is 'Mr Khan's Cheap Liquor Establishment of Oblivion'. 'Mr Patel's Pound Store' sits cheek and jowl next to Wang's Cheap Discount, Cut-Price, Cut-Throat, Low-Cost, Bouncy Bouncy, Love you Long Time, Boutique'. And no inner city mall would be viable, or replete, without the ever-present, 'Super Fags' outlet.
Local itinerants and foreign 'tourists' have already shown their enthusiasm and support by moving in and placing their bed rolls strategically in doorways. Filthy Eric's place lies adjacent to the bolted ‘Emergency Exit’ for quick egress on benefits day.
|Filthy Eric has left the building|
This well-thought-out mall provides for every demographic. Posing, intimidating youths, in hoodies can congregate /congeal in the poorly lit aisles dispensing drugs and ill-gotten gains with aplomb. World-weary, intimidated, superannuated folk, can swap tales of mirth and woe whilst glancing precariously at the turbulent youth and gypos with rheumy beclouded corneas. Thieves abound and pilfer with boldness and impunity.
The mall even comes equipped with a fully functioning '
'. A bucket placed at a jaunty angle provides the denizens of Tipton with a receptacle for relinquishing their stomach contents after a Saturday night sampling the delights of the liquor store and 'Fat Mugumbo's Fast Fried Fat Filled Fancies'. Arrrrrrrsssssse. Furthermore, 'nurse' Fatarse (Arseee) Mugumbo-Mugumbo (no relation) is ever-ready (batteries included) to provide tender ministrations and blow jobs to all and sundry. Sick Bay
The sad truth is that we are always living in the end of times and always have. There were no halcyon days - we only remember the best bits and forget the worst.ReplyDelete
Of course the future eventually arrives as the next end of times. Thank goodness we can look forward to 'Tipton’s only Premier Mall' or the future would never become the halcyon days of the past, in time.
Yes DiscoveredJoys, very right - but you too, dear Flax. It´s a fact, that in a way, the first world countries (oops... not political correct to say so anymore, but how correct can it be to follow politics... hm?) are more and more fucked with every year. But thanks to elder white men they are still the lands of the plenty compared to the rest, especially Afhanistan, Ucraine or any of the particular unpleasant towns of Africa. Or to the 30ies & 40ies of the last century, when they used to kill each others in absolute madness. So we have any right to complain, but to enjoy too. Great blog... thanks to a great man.ReplyDelete
Sadly, Western society has been in decline for quite a while now. To be honest I think European civilisation began its decline due to the Great War and has continued apace, thereafter. I won't live to see Rome burn. But my poor kids and grandkids!ReplyDelete