Urophagia- ‘Drinking Pee is Good for Thee…..’

Franny B after 15 pints of bitter and a pint of piss.....

As my regular readers have noted, I'm interested in things arcane and unusual. My interest was piqued the other day when I read an article extolling the health benefits of drinking your own urine. Apparently it has an ancient pedigree, so it must be beneficial, eh? As a professional biologist I was taught that urine is a waste product. Simply stated, nitrogenous waste present in the blood is filtered by the kidneys and ends up in the bladder mixed with water. Subsequently, it is passed through the urethra and ultimately into a receptacle of choice. As a general rule urine consists of 5% nitrogenous matter and 95% water. However, the ratio can change depending on hydration status. Early morning piss is notoriously concentrated.

I have an anecdote that I share with trepidation (not really). It should come as no surprise that my past was a little chequered. Imagine the young Flaxen circa 1974, incredibly/incredulously handsome with long blond hair aflowing- the fat birds were all over me. Tis a Saturday night. I'm out with my mates: Lugless Douglas (don't ask), Big, Bad, Bill, 'The  Albino'. He wasn't an Albino, but that’s another story, Franny B and Quincey. It had been a long day that turned into a long night, and we had been drinking since Noon. Anyway, Franny B wants another pint but he's run out money.  He comes up with a plan, at 1.00am. When has a plan proposed by the young and drunk ever turned out well? He vowed that he would drink a pint of his own urine on the condition that all his mates buy him a pint of beer. Of course, we were very drunk, young and stupid, so we agreed and Franny B had his beer. I've digressed/regressed. 

So, is there any evidence that urine drinking is beneficial in any regard? Absolutely not. This comes as no surprise as urine is a waste product which the body is desireth to remove. Drinking waste just results in it being excreted again in a more concentrated form. It is not advised to continue the cycle indefinitely. Furthermore, it is a misconception to consider that urine is sterile. Piss contains bacteria which are resident and sloughed off from the urinary tract. 

Some folk have been driven to drink their own urine in extremis. There are many reports of people stranded without fresh water resorting to drinking their own piddle. Medical science advises against the practice as it is likely to result in rapid dehydration.   

There are folk, often steeped in Eastern bullshit and alternative lifestyle crap, who honestly believe a tot of piss in the morning is a tonic to cure ills ranging from scurvy to cancer. They can believe what they like despite the contrary evidence. We live in a free society after all, at least for those who can afford it. I suspect drinking small amounts of urine does little harm. As for its therapeutic effects- you’d be better off pissing in the wind.     

  

                                       

This video was uploaded due to the kind recommendation of Kath Lissendon. All I can say is: Dozy Brummies