Saturday, 14 March 2015

The unkindest cut of all

Humble Guru in action. Fuck, you could lose a badger in that beard. Arse.

You really can't make this shit up. India's 'Guru in Bling', Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh, is under investigation over allegations that he coerced 400 of his followers to undergo the finality and indignity of castration. Even so, giving up 'da jewels' without a deign of protest is odd, especially amongst 400 lusty men folk. The Guru argued, with scant justification, that those lacking in 'nads' would be closer to God. Obviously the Swami doesn't have to undergo surgery to snuggle up to the Divinity close and personal. He wisely decided to keep his testicles in the love pouch, as God intended. Yea, the disciples testicles didn't come off all at once but over a decade. To contemplate mass mutilation in one sitting is sublime insanity, surely? We should take comfort that the castrations were carried out by bona fide medical doctors under the instruction of da Guru.

Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh (for it is he) is a controversial figure in his native India but nonetheless is revered and adored by his adherents. He is a flamboyant character/caricature given to the wearing of much gold jewellery. This humble holy man can afford it with an estimated wealth of  $50,000,000.   

Castration has always been a short cut to sanctity. Without the troublesome dangly bits which are the powerhouse of testosterone production, provoking all things sexual, a man can wholly devote his body and being to things spiritual. Without the intrusion of thoughts carnal and the consequent, and inevitable thrusting, a non-tumescent 'man' can focus on devotion incarnate. Twas Saint Origen who set the agenda. Origen gasped amongst humanity between 185AD and 254AD and was undoubtedly a devout follower of the Christ child. He became mired in ecclesiastical dispute due to his heretical teachings. One man's heresy is another man's doctrinal dogma. He pondered mightily on such germane concepts as, the pre-existence of souls and the subordination of the Son of God to God the Father. Good man that Origen.

With all the able men of the time arguing about the fine tuning of religious dogma no wonder the Empire collapsed. The Emperor would have been better served if the fine minds of the time had been harnessed to solving the real practical problems of the day, such as keeping the barbarian hordes at bay. A better stone throwing weapon would help, mayhap some bright sod could have invented gunpowder. I've digressed.

Back to the good Guru. Gurmeet is no stranger to accusation. Apparently, he previously faced accusations of sexually abusing his female followers- dat where the dangly bits come in handy. Also, conspiracy charges were forthcoming concerning the murder of a journalist in 2002 who had the temerity to wag and point his finger and suggest that the self appointed, but immensely popular 'Guru', was a complete fraud. Tis enough to make you cynical, innit.  

To my mind, any man who allows anyone to touch their bollocks with a knife deserve all they get, genuine medical vasectomy-ites  inclusive.  Although, in the latter category, when the ligature slips off, I  share their pain, I really do.

Watch and weep. Oh, by the way he is a movie super hero. These days, aren't we all.


  1. At least if they castrate all their followers the cult is guaranteed to die out...

  2. I was going to say that at least it prevents such morons reproducing, but it's much the same comment as Diocese wrote...

  3. Sad news regarding Captain Ranty.

    1. Thanks for letting me know the sad news. I didn't know Colin personally, but I was an avid reader of his blog and commented occasionaly. I always enjoyed his prose and humanity. Another good man, gone. I'm not sure of the circumstances and don't want to intrude on his family at this time of desolation. I'll raise a beer to you Cap'n this Friday night- sleep well.