It's Never Aliens: Nothing to see here.....

And so the much awaited report has been released by the US. The document is 9 pages long and mentions 144 unidentified objects. As expected, this short report is not ground breaking and there is avid speculation as regard to the 'unclassified' portion of the report, that was not released for public consumption.

There is nothing in the report that wasn't known already. It mentions various 'explanations', including extra-terrestrial and extra-dimensional origins.

Predictably, the Pentagon has been accused of a 'cover up' and that the juiciest observations have been omitted. Also, predictably, the 'conspiracy  crowd' have gone wild with condemnation.

Here is a direct quote from the report:

'The limited amount of high-quality reporting on Unidentified Arial Phenomenon (UAP) hampers our ability to draw firm conclusions about the nature and intent of UAP.'

As expected, nary a word concerning abductions and especially 'Anal Probing'. If you have been reading my blog you will know that this topic is very close to my heart (Arse), as I have been anally probed by aliens on multiple occasions, usually after imbibing copious amounts of strong Ale. Here is a couple of examples for your viewing pleasure. I've included one personal example and a further example concerning my good friend, Mr Ipod Mugumbo (for it is he). Nuff said, for now.......

  The Flaxen Saxon Chronicles: Search results for aliens anal probing  The Flaxen Saxon Chronicles: Search results for mugumbo anal probing

Dotage

Flaxen at Bay   (window?)

And so it has come to pass (wind), Flaxen has entered the hallowed halls of: 'Oldus Fartus Maximus'. Last Tuesdaytide I received my first old age pension payment, or as the New Zealand more prosaically calls it, Superannuation- I'm officially, superannuated. Tis a landmark; a mark in the road which I have left far, far behind/beyond. 

The 'Gold Card' will soon come in my letter box allowing me to travel free on public transport, but not during rush hour. Can't have the oldies cluttering up the buses and trains smelling of peppermint and piss. Though to be fair, this appears sound, public transport is busy enough at certain times and apparently 'Old Folk' are notoriously early risers. As I'm stuck on a busy commuter train twice a week, the last thing I need is to stand two hours because the local pensioners rise at 5.00am and would like to do a spot of shopping in the Big City. Tarry a while and catch the 9.20am to Wello, instead. Early rising is one aspect of age that I haven't embraced, yet. On this particular Thursday morn I awoke at 09.15am, and am currently languishing in bed as I write this blog, at 9.50am, drinking tea and farting with gusto. I dare say I will languish under the covers until about 11.30am. I'm not  a 'Night Owl' either, invariably I'm fast asleep by 10.00pm. For some reason, and if there is no need for early arising, I can sleep for at least ten hours, sometimes more. My big brain needs rest, rest assured. 

Apparently, the Gold Card (of Doom) entitles me to discounts from stores throughout the land. Unfortunately, these stores are not the big brand monoliths spread far and wide. The stores on the list are small affairs indeed. Moreover, very few of the selected outlets are within my township. In other words: The Gold Card is bloody useless.   

I reached 65 in February, this year. For reasons, that lie deep in my tortured psyche, I didn't apply for my pension until late May. To be more exact, my son submitted the application. He had become infuriated at my procrastination and applied for me. Not as daft as it sounds as he currently works for the government department that deals with this sort of thing. I just had to supply various primary documents duly countersigned by a Justice of the Peace. My delay has meant I've missed out on a couple months of 'free money'. More fool me. As they say (who?) - "There is no fool like an old fool". Wisdom is not a necessarily a companion of age and age sometimes travels alone.

 I've met many 'Oldies' (Twats) who are willing to espouse 'wisdom', however they end up regurgitating hackneyed aphorisms, of scant regard. They look so earnest as they dispense their drivel/dribble and expect you to react as if they have just spouted the distilled sagacity of the whole Western world. If I ever start to talk to strangers in the supermarket I commend Woden to take my poor soul. Although on the upside, I can now happily piss myself in the 'Exotic Lard' aisle at the local supermarket and shout, "Arrrrrse", very loudly with impunity. What can the management do under such circumstances? I can always pull out the Gold Card as mute testament to my decrepitude and mental infirmity. I can hear them muttering: "Poor old sod, he should be in a home". Ten minutes later I'll be driven home by the local, on call, social worker. Once trapped in my presence I can randomly ramble about how, years ago, you could buy a whole pig's head for less than ten groats, etc.etc....     

As my regulars doth know, I'm semi-retired only working two days a week in the 'Big City'. My contract runs out mid-November and I've decided to call it a day. I will miss the pay and the intelligent discourse with colleagues, but it is time to go.      

The NZ pension is not particularly generous. I wonder how unprepared folks get by especially as rental property is exorbitant. In fact, the rent for a modest house would likely use the whole pension. I'm sure the government helps in these circumstances. Even so, unless you have other streams of income, you will be consigned to a life of unremitting poverty. Sadly, it appears that a lot of Kiwis are in this position. I'm okay financially as I also receive a pension from the UK. In addition, I  have savings and investments. I will not starve. I don't pay rent or a mortgage on my house. If desperate I could sell my house and land and downsize. I hope it never comes to that as our home is perfect for all our needs. We not going to be able to live the 'High Life' but we should be okay. Mrs. S has completely retired. She retired early due to health problems although she doesn't officially reach the age of retirement for a further six years.  

How will I keep busy after finally, fully retiring? This is a question I'm asked on a regular basis, and on balance, a reasonable one. Many folk appear bereft once retirement kicks in. Considering how much time and effort that goes into employment these days this is understandable, but avoidable. It seems obvious, but folk should plan ahead and introduce new hobbies and expand old interests. From my perspective, I will be fully engaged. Obviously I have my blogging activities to contend with and other writing assignments and I enjoy making things out of wood. I've appropriated/apportioned a good sixed space in the 'barn' as a workshop. This is well provisioned with benches, hand tools and power tools that I have accumulated over time. As mentioned before in this blog, I'm not particularly skilled, but I am determined and persistent. I'm currently engaged in fashioning a crossbow with a medieval mechanism. There is much to do on the property. The property is extensive and requires some maintenance. Lawns need a cutting and feeding. Even with a ride on mower this generally takes two days. Weeds need a weeding and flower beds need attending. I'm not a happy gardener but it has to be done. The business- I have started a modest 'sideshow' business with my son selling bows and archery equipment. This is doing well and takes up a surprising amount of time to organise and administer. We are only selling to NZ at the moment but hope to expand the business internationally. We have managed to secure selling rights from a European company and now act as their sole New Zealand representatives. And finally, I'm an avid reader of books. I'm very catholic in my tastes, eschewing fiction, and concentrate mainly on ancient history, military affairs, science, mathematics and theology. 

Seems I'm more busy now than when I was fully employed.                  

Toodly Pip, for now

The Reality?

        

Tis Never Aliens.

                                                Yea, definitely Aliens.  Arse 

Everyone is  waiting, with bated breath, the much hyped report by the US government concerning UAPs (Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon). Apparently, this is official speak for the old moniker, UFO.  The release, supposedly, has been driven by the 'leak' of three videos showing UAPs, on radar and other monitoring modalities as viewed by military aircraft and warships. For your edification, check out the videos on YouTube.

So what are we to make of these forthcoming revelations? There are several important aspects of UAP observations that require careful and rational interpretation. The fact that these observations were made by sober, educated, military pilots has impressed many. Previous observations of UAPs often lacked credibility due to the supposed unreliability of the reporters. The problem, previously, was that the folks giving evidence were classed as delusional. They are of course, a mixed bunch, but generally not skilled professional observers. Also, 'this sort of thing' has attracted, in the past, the usual bunch of crazies, conspiracy theorists and assorted weirdos. They appeared prone and primed to ascribe their sightings as belonging to extraterrestrial craft without a critical examination of earth bound phenomenon. And of course, there was a minority who bolstered their viewing with an abduction tale. Anal probing seemed an integral part of the scenario. For good reason most of these 'tall tales' were summarily dismissed as belonging to the lunatic fringe or a misinterpretation of a very natural and mundane aerial incident, anal probing aside. 

On first examination the videos appear astonishing. It is to be noted that the recorded images were made not by instruments relying on visual light spectra but on radar or infrared instrumentation. Thus, most of the imagery is open to distortion as a natural consequence of these modalities. So far, the US government has been circumspect in their interpretation. What they will say is this: The observations are not hoaxes and that they are not due to advanced American devices. What has impressed many is that the images appear to be travelling, in some instances, at great speed; the maneuvers are not consistent with known terrestrial craft; and in a least one instance the 'craft' appears to abruptly enter the sea or simply disappear. Heady stuff indeed. But before we shout, 'Aliens/Xenomorphs', let us take a step back......   

Before I address the extraterrestrial scenario, a few image analysis experts have come up with explanations that are considered artefacts of the measuring devices. This is not an area I feel able to explain as my expertise lies elsewhere. I've listed some possibilities, as proposed by experts, and added a link explaining how these effects could be responsible for UAPs. I'd welcome comments from my readership concerning these possibilities, especially from those with relevant expertise/experience. 

All Right. Let's Talk About The UFO Thing | Answers With Joe - YouTube     

Bokeh effect

Parallax 

Gimble rotation

This is Flaxen's take on all this: Before we propose an extraterrestrial explanation it is prudent to explore, exhaustively,  all natural phenomenon and artefacts. This is vitally important as some folk jump to the extraterrestrial explanation before considering 'Earth Bound' explanations. A host of natural phenomena have been put forth in an effort to explain UAPs. 'Little Green Ferrets', er, I mean Men' are not required or necessary. 

So, if we can't stretch the 'artifact' explanation, what else? None, other world explanations include such banal objects, as flocks of birds; weather balloons; aircraft; the planet Venus; drones and objects, numerous. Go look. That said, I'm not suggesting that the videos of the UAPs mentioned here are any of these. Of concern, is that a foreign power(s) has progressed their technology to a capability beyond the expertise of  Western science. Supportive evidence is garnered from the consideration that these sightings are often recorded in the vicinity of military/nuclear facilities. Of course, the Russians and Chinese have denied that they are responsible- but they would say that, wouldn't they? On balance, looking at the available evidence, I would say, nay. Could be wrong though, I'm not infallible.

Here is an interesting observation: Why is it that the images observed are always blurred, as if from a lens, darkly discerned? We never observe, clear, unequivocal, sharp images. With the ubiquitous use of iPhones, there is an expectation of clearer images. The images recorded by the military are not within the visible light spectrum; this does not aid clarity.    

And then we have high definition satellites. The images recorded are crisp and can pick out an individual playing basket ball from high above our atmosphere. But, no well defined image of a UAP.  Mayhap, 'The Powers that be' are not being forthcoming. A conspiracy theorist's dream.

If we are to remain rational we must maintain an open mind and expect any explanation, even if bizarre, as long as we have overwhelming evidence. Frankly, as yet, I've not seen such evidence in support of an extraterrestrial origin. This is not to say I deny life outside our cosy, warm, terrestrial environment. I do believe in life outside our little blue world but I suspect most organisms are nothing more than heaving mats of bacteria. However, I'm open to the vision that intelligent beings are out there. This doesn't mean they have the wherewithal to travel vast interstellar distances and skid about our atmosphere, with relative impunity. If we are inclined to believe in Einstein, as I'm inclined to do so, then faster than light travel, is not possible. Therefore, we are left with 'Warp Drive'. If you can access energy, akimbo, then in theory, at least, it could work.   

As said, many times by rational folk, various: 'Tis Never Aliens'. I think this is a reasonable, default position. Until we have good evidence to the contrary, rational stasis is how we should regard the topic, at least for now. 

 And remember, extraordinary conclusions warrant

 extraordinary evidence

   

The Strid

                                                                   Bolton Abbey

I would like to ask my readers a question? Where and what would you consider the most dangerous stretch of water in the world? It could be the sea off seal island in South Africa; perhaps Niagara Falls; mayhap the waters off Cape Horn. I'm sure the good folk who read this blog can think of other areas of water that would qualify. And yes, the examples I have cited can be exceedingly perilous. Many, foolhardy and unlucky souls have gone to a watery grave at these sites. In the case of seal Island, the unwary have become an integral part of the food chain. However, dangerous as these places can be I would like to suggest a stretch of water called 'The Strid' as the main contender. The Strid is a small section of the river Wharfe situated in Yorkshire in North England. It flows past a ruined 12th century Abbey, called 'Bolton Abbey'. I have visited the region and walked through the Abbey. It must have been majestic in its time and still invites awe even in such a jaded old scrote as myself. I have also visited the infamous 'Strid', a stones throw away (arse). When I was there the water was not in full spate and looked curiously inviting. At this point the river narrows to just under six feet, and herein lies the problem.

Just upstream from the Strid the Wharfe is a sedate gentle river about 30 feet wide. A little downstream the river and the water contained within is forced into the narrow channel of the Strid. Although the surface of this stretch looks calm, just under the meandering stream lies a deep abyss. The water under the tranquil surface is violent and fathomless. Strong currents and eddies belie the river's calm exterior. At this point the waters flow deep and the roiling, tumultuous waters have cut deep chasms/caverns into the limestone, undermining both banks. This has resulted in the formation of numerous caves and tunnels. Due to the violence of the underlying waters these formations can not be explored by man or instrumentation. 

It is said that the son of a prominent Lady of the area died in the Strid in the 12th century and so in order that the soul of the young departed son could be prayed for, the distraught Lady donated the lands to the church. Wordsworth was so moved by the area that he penned a poem: 'The Force of Prayer'. Wordsworth included in his prose the mishap of the young fella from yore, surnamed Romilly.  I haven't included the whole poem. Here is a representative stanza. In my opinion, the poem is not Wordsworth's best work.

“And what may now forbid

That he, perhaps .for the hundredth time,

Shall bound across THE STRID?

He sprang in glee, – for what cared he

That the river was strong, and the rocks were steep?…

The Boy is in the arms of Wharf,

And strangled by a merciless force;

For never more was young Romilly seen

Till he rose a lifeless corpse.”   

  

The problem: when the river is calm it seems deceptively 'safe'. At its narrowest point it possible to leap from one side to the other. The rocky banks are slippery and slick with algae and a wrong move results in certain death. To date, no one has survived a dip in this stretch of the river. In 1998 a honeymoon couple died whilst walking along the bank. Rain upstream caused the Strid to rise over five feet in just a minute and both were swept into the yarning maul of the Strid. In 2010 a boy was lost when he slipped on the river bank. 

Although their are warning notices along the river bank, folk seem lured to the spot. Unsuspecting tourists find it difficult to comprehend that this 'babbling brook' is dangerous. It looks so benign, serene and hypnotic..... Do not tarry too long and stare deep into its limpid depths.

Bodies don't always reappear. A few may surface downstream, hours, days, months or even years later. But it seems the Strid is reluctant to release all its prizes. Many are never seen again and lurk deep within its cavernous, tortuous depths. They hang like ragged trophies with their bony hands outstretched toward a domain they will never reach.

It looks so peaceful and benign

Nobody Knows you are a Mustelid

He's a nutter

                                      

What's going on? Three posts in three days. Surely, the esteemed Flaxen is complying with his full medication programme.

I recently received an email criticising my prose style. The thrust of the missive suggested that my writing is too florid, too ostentatious and peppered with unnecessary embellishment. I'm guilty as charged, me Lord. Some folk take 'The Blogging World' far too seriously.  

Yes, my style is all the above. The affectation is in keeping with my blogging persona. In the real world, my prose is tight, unencumbered and sparsely fashioned. This reflects my professional writing style. In other areas of endeavour my writing is also clipped and my sentences crisp, short and devoid of ornamentation. I'd rather use the simple Anglo-Saxon word than the Latin; my blog is the exception, not the rule. 

It could be said that my 'Blogging Peculiarity' is designed to be admired rather than understood. On the internet no one knows that you are a sad old man with a tenuous grasp on sanity teetering on the brink of bleak despair and endowed with a ferret fixation. Truth can be stranger than fiction.     

The blogging world is a strange odd place, indeed. Tis an eclective market place of diverse interests and motivations. All is paraded in serried array. All can accessed at the click of a ferret, err, I mean mouse.

Nothing on my blog can be understood in the context of serious intent, although many of the topics addressed contain serious content. My frivolity of expression is meant to be entertaining while delivering an important message (perhaps, sometimes). I'm sure many of my readers can see through the façade. However, the real Flaxen Saxon will not stand up. I value, and acknowledge my creativity and eccentricity as a gift from my schizophrenic mother. And who said nothing good comes from madness? To be honest I'm quite nonconformist, odd and eccentric in real life- just ask Shagger. Although, when required I can be serious, but not for long.

The downside of my genetics is that, sometimes, I'm stalked by the melancholic 'Black Dog' of despond. It snaps at my heel, and on rare occasions, draws blood. As for the cacophony chasing through my mind, I will say this: it can be a solace and a curse. It is unceasing and cannot be tuned out or turned off. Tis something I've learned to live with. I've been informed, by professionals who should know better, that the incessant 'thought jumble' can be stopped with drugs. I've eschewed treatment as I realise that my whole being is predicated on my deviation from the norm (two standard deviations). 

Even in this piece, which is supposed to be a serious explanation of my online persona, I can't escape that persona.   

So there you have it. Perhaps not a full, annotation of my off-beat personality but tis all I'm willing to give. Otherwise, you would gain entry to my mind. This, I can't allow, for undoubtedly, frank unmitigated madness would ensue.    

Say hello to Shagger

Jordan Peterson

   Behold the Man

Unless you have been living, sequestered in the bubble, aptly named, 'The  Bubble of Tipton', you must of heard of the phenomenon, pertinently termed, Prof. Jordan Peterson. Said Prof. became foisted upon a none sequestered/cloistered populous several years ago due to contention. Read on and weep, or applaud, depending upon your psychological and/or political status.  

Professor Jordan Peterson burst upon popular consciousness after upsetting, 'the usual suspects' during a lively debate concerning, 'Gender Issues'. Jordan is an academic at the University of Toronto. He teaches and researches in the arena of human psychology and in this regard he describes himself as a 'scientist'. In addition, he maintains a clinical psychology practice and has been active on various social media platforms, including YouTube since 2016. In particular, Peterson gained notoriety due to his stance against a particularly pernicious piece of potential Canadian legislation, that if passed, could result in prosecution for those unwilling to express an individual's preferred gender pronoun. He rightly objected due to the proposal's anti-free speech connotations. He does not support judicial interference in matters of conscience especially when it criminalises freedom of thought and speech. This is an anathema to any right thinking individual. 

Needless to say, the good Prof. expresses views counter to the madness that infects the extreme left. Since the encounter, the 'The Vocal Left' have  raged at Peterson to the point of hysteria. As always, they endeavour to deny free expression to those who do not embrace their overarching leftist narrative. This strident minority have declared Peterson to be a 'fascist' and therefore a man that should be denied a public platform. They will not countenance any viewpoint counter to their dogged dogma. They are not interested in a free exchange of ideas or healthy debate. They seek to withhold debate and a free exchange of ideas to those who do not suckle at the teat of 'leftist insanity/inanity' (steady Flaxen: take heed and ingest another blue-green pill).

Since 'the controversy' he has become an academic celebrity thrust upon the collective public consciousness and consequently basks in the intellectual limelight so afforded. He is either adored or abhorred depending upon political agenda and ideology. The 'good Prof.' is a skilled and thoughtful debater. I exhort my readership to listen to his pontifications, both in the academic classroom and in public forums. He is an engaging speaker and especially erudite in the area of human psychology. Prof. Peterson has a self proclaimed IQ of 150. If this is the case he belongs to an extremely rare intellectual elite as only 0.2% of the population are so endowed. He is not a modest man. Modesty is only a virtue in those with modest gifts. Generally I am not impressed with self professed IQ bandying. In this respect I'm not a fan of the high IQ club, MENSA. It serves little purpose and is clearly a vehicle for self aggrandisement; a mutual backslapping exercise of no import. The association does no more than bring together folks with a high IQ, other than that they have nothing in common, except an over inflated ego. As far as I'm aware, Peterson is not a member of MENSA, to his credit. His self proclaimed 'genius level IQ' is a demerit to his character, but in Peterson's case, not a serious one.  

Peterson has garnered significant media attention and coverage. As to be expected he has become the darling of the right. Indeed, he has achieved something of a 'cult' status in some quarters. At the end of the other political spectrum, predictably, Peterson has attracted extreme criticism. He has been described as 'right wing' and dangerous. A bemused Peterson denies any 'right wing' credentials and describes himself as a 'Classic British Liberal'. Personally, I think Peterson can be described as a conservative, but there is nothing in his speech or writings to support that he has 'right wing' leanings.  

His religious stance is rather confusing and paradoxical, to some. When asked if he believes in god his answer is ingenious. I don't have the space to discuss his response here, because of its complexity- mayhap in a follow up post? He professes to live his life as if god does exist, but  Peterson is not a Christian. If true, this is highly commendable.

On matters pertinent to his profession he has much to say that makes good sense and his commentary is backed up with solid scholarship. Peterson also makes forays outside his 'areas of expertise'. He is a widely read man and his views on topics sundry are always thought provoking. On matters pertaining to religion and social matters, I confess that I'm in general accord. He has much to say with regard to the ongoing 'IQ debate'. This is a highly controversial topic and some folk reckon it should be left alone without further discussion. I am not of this ilk, Peterson's views are well known and I find myself in total agreement. There are aspects of his 'philosophy' that I do not agree with. He admits he has been heavily influenced by the works of Jung. Jung was a one time student of Sigmund Freud but fell from the fold and developed a philosophy/psychology of his own. Peterson clearly admires Jung almost to point of 'Hero Worship'. In my opinion most of what Jung wrote is mystical nonsense and like much of Freud's work disregarded today. Peterson accepts a lot of Jung's principles and work without critical comment. Although I'm not a fan of Jung, I have a healthy regard for his intellect which was substantial. This is where Jordan leaves the 'World of Science' and enters into a morass of confusion and contradiction. Jung's work was not scientific in any modern accepted sense. His psychology owes much to pure philosophy than it does to psychology. Jung was fascinated with esoteric mystical writings from the East and incorporated a wad of inscrutable 'Eastern Wisdom' in his work as well as spiritualism. Although, I find myself in disagreement with Peterson's, Jungian leanings, I find his commentary on the matter, very fascinating and worthy of serious contemplation; Peterson is no fool. I know that my comment on Jung is simplicity itself, and Jung was not a simple man. His works are well worth a read although they are a difficult read. He writes like me (at least in this blog) and therefore can seem obscure if you don't read him right.

In conclusion, Peterson is a highly polarising academic and intellectual. He has been described as the leading 'Western intellectual of his generation'. A sentiment I'm in agreement with. It is easy to express numerous superlatives when considering the man and his work. Is he a modern Western hero? I will leave my readers to decide. I will say this: I greatly admire Peterson. His moral and ethical stance is difficult to fault. His scholarship is voluminous and exceeding interesting and important. Much of what he says is worthy of consideration. Even if you disagree with many of his pronouncements and written work, as I do, he is always thought provoking leaving the audience with their minds enlivened, refreshed and full of exciting novel ideas. Peterson is a debater without peer. Woe to the contender who does not prepare for the intellectual bombard of Peterson's exquisite wit and beam of intellect. I always enjoy what Peterson has to say and I admit I'm a commited fan but not an uncritical acolyte.           

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I'm back.......

Tis been a while since my last post. In fact my output for May was just a single composition. The muse that once sat upon my broad shoulders has left and I’m bereft. My writing prowess has diminished accordingly. In truth, I have been writing, but for all my endeavours I’m left with a clutch of half finished essays.

But do not despair gentle reader, the blog will continue. I will gather my formidable mental capacity and by ‘force of Will’ command my pain wracked/wrecked body to compose with fanatical fury. Oxycontin is my friend/fiend.

It is my intention to publish six posts during the merry month of June.

O great joy I hear you yammer: “the flaxen haired one has returned with gusto. We will continue to bask in his wisdom and sage commentary. Surely we must rejoice, and shout from every hillock and high place. All in accord will exclaim with head upturned- flaxen has come back to the fold. No more despond and despair. The dark cloud/shroud that once covered his fair countenance is no more”.

Watch this space and wait with bated anticipation for my next composition. Arse bucket.