The Divinity in our midst/pissed

Mr Vowel prior to medication

Shock announcement from the Tipton municipal city council, today! The incumbent Mayor, Mr Enoch Vowel, at an impromptu mass meeting, attended by local dignities and press declaimed thusly: "It is time to declare my Divinity. You are privileged at this momentous time in history to be part of a glorious and expensive beginning". 

When asked by one of his acolytes, Miss Fanny Akimbo, when had he first realised that he had metamorphosed into a god, he countered in a beatific manner and all those present did attest to the ethereal glow which attended his sanctified countenance. "I became aware of my transformation after consuming two bottles of gin and a magnum of champagne. Afterward, I commenced the transmogrification process which culminated in full divinity during an interlude of supine/sublime stupefaction. My Divine presence will not be cheap to maintain and, by decree, a tithe of 10% will be enacted upon all citizens of Tipton town, forthwith. Furthermore, I shall surround myself with nubile female nymphets who will attend to my remorseless spiritual and carnal appetites".  

Fanny attending to the Divine

Later that day Mr Vowel was incarcerated in the Tipton 'Bide a Wee Home' for deluded and bewildered politicians. The five hundred bed facility is currently full.

Mrs Dildo Mugumbo, a lifetime Tipton resident, when pressed against a wall, gasped:  "It comes as no surprise as I've always thought Mr Vowel to be a bit of a cult". 

Mrs Mugumbo gasping against the wall