Sunday, 23 November 2014

Vagina Dentata

An image from my private collection
A vagina replete with teeth is a folk myth common to many cultures. It is meant as a cautionary tale and a warning for those who practise unprotected sex with wanton and reckless abandon. But how are we to protect ourselves from misplaced dentition? Condoms are notoriously thin to provoke the ultimate sexual experience. Chain mail condoms have never caught on and chafe something awful.

Like most myths there is a germ of truth lurking within. There exists a rare tumour called a teratoma. Teratomas contain highly differentiated tissue and are capable of forming fully formed dentition, and even hair. It is not inconceivable that a woman could be afflicted with a vaginal teratoma. This lamentable malignancy, if not excised, could result in the development of teeth.

On two occasions,  I have dissected teratomas as part of my professional duties, and can vouch personally that teratomas contain teeth. They are perfect in every regard and resemble a child's first dentition. The teeth make an exotic addition to my rare artefact collection and reside on my mantelpiece as if in repose.


                                                                Watch and weep

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