Saturday, 1 November 2014

Contemplate and weep, once again

Tourettes is a funny old condition. For most folk, it is associated with the loud enunciation of rude words in public by otherwise normal looking adults. This expression of Tourettes is mercifully rare. But the condition itself is relatively common, especially amongst children, although its manifestation is usually mild and could be considered as part of normal childhood behaviour.

Predictable, I know but can't help myself. Arse.

In its least severe form, Tourettes presents as a tic or a repetitive physical behaviour without obscene vocalisation. Although, to be considered as a positive diagnosis, there has to be an element of intermittent utterance, not necessarily offensive or even involving an actual word.

The cause of the condition is unknown, although there appears to be a hereditary component- I would say that, wouldn't I, being a geneticist an all. In addition, environmental factors intervene. This is a cipher for: 'we haven't a bloody clue.' Like most behavioural disorders, the cause(s) is often complex and mysteriously, unknown.

Humans like to compartmentalise and to place things within categories. Behavioural defects often defy neat classification. I propose that Tourettes is another expression of a rather untidy disorder; how inconvenient.

There is a lesser known cousin of Tourettes which is less socially debilitating but can impose severe strictures on those contemplating a career as a writer. Tis often called literary Tourettes, or more formally known as 'writing bollocks.' This concept is totally alien to the golden haired (pert and perfectly formed) one. I pity those afflicted thus and propose annihilation on the third offense. Penis, scrotal appendage and pudenda.   

Again, very predictable....

Arse, cunt bollocks, tit wank, feltching, cum bugger, bucket of frogs and semen. May the force be with you. Bottom sex, cum shots and dwarf porn. Zoophilia, shagging a dog called Rex.Gleet. Alex Guiness was actually a good actor. Don't forget the lube.

1 comment:

  1. You missed one :