Sunday, 29 June 2014

Flaxen Saxon's Shit Inventions: Part II

The boffins at ‘Flaxen Saxon Enterprises’ have been hard at work inventing stuff. Clearly, my investment in these ‘creative types’ has paid dividends. Here is a selection of their more practical and innovative ideas. Order early as I have limited stock. If you want the shoe umbrella don’t forget to mention your shoe size. We include free delivery to a mental institution of your choice.

You have heard of heavy water, right? Flaxen Saxon’s diet water should be part of everyone’s healthy regime. We have removed all the deuterium oxide so you don’t have to. Guaranteed to be calorie free. An absolute steal at 5,000 Saxon groats. For informational purposes only: The Saxon groat is equivalent to 450 trillion Rhodesian dollars, at current exchange rates.

Sick of getting your shoes wet on those dreary rainy days. Fret, no more! Simply clip on Flaxen’s shoe umbrellas (patent pending) and enjoy damp free perambulation.

Ever wondered what it would be like to have two colanders strapped to your head. Then wonder no more! Head of research, Dr Teapot Mugumbo has come up with this handy device. Take it anywhere. Be the envy of friends and family.    

Dr Teapot Mugumbo, in repose

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