Now you can make your own dildos in the comfort of your own home. Often wondered what to do with those old root vegetables cluttering up your pantry. Well wonder no more! Simply place your parsnip (this isn't a euphemism, by the way) into this neat gadget, turn the handle and in no time you have created a dildo for every occasion. Afterwards simply chop and place in your favourite soup. No mess, no waste.
Free carrot with every purchase. Butt plug maker attachment available on request.
Available at your local supermarket in the vegetable section.
For meat lovers