Sunday, 1 June 2014

Moses Loves You, Jesus Don't



                                Jesus contemplating whether he should eat Moses.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.' Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.' The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird. 'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'' The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

2 comments:

  1. Mate of mine was a bit shaken a couple of days ago; he said he saw a Rottweiler with a big stick in its mouth ... "Fuck me", he said, "they're going about armed now ..."

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    Replies
    1. Indeed Mr C, let's hope the buggers don't evolve opposable thumbs and get hold of AK47s- then we will be fucked.

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