A concerned
reader writes: "Dear Flaxen, I confess I'm
a little worried about your mental state. Your writings lately seem
even more bizarre than usual and what is this pre-occupation with Japanese
snipers all about? Surely there hasn't been any Japanese snipers hereabouts for over 70
years."
FS: "Thank you
for your heartfelt concern. I assure you I am quite sane. My psychiatrist,
Prof. Mugumbo, reckons I'm toward the extreme end of the 'normality' spectrum,
so there are no grounds for your concern. I'm not expected to descend into the
black pit of insanity any time soon.
As for the obsession
with Japanese snipers: Aren't we all just a
little afraid of Japanese snipers? Isn't there a Japanese sniper nestling deep in
all of our psyches, dwelling in dark hardly fathomable places within?"
Just to
show how sensible and sane I've become I've decided to write a very, very,
sensible post about gravity.
I wrote a
piece over a year ago about the mysterious force of gravity. You can check it
out here. Newton
in the 17th century was able to describe this mysterious force very well but had no idea
what it actually was and how it could operate at a distance. Gravity is the
weakest of all the physical forces and is dependant on mass. Simply said, the greater
the mass, the greater the force. A force which decreases between two objects according
to the inverse square law.
The great
insight of Einstein was to realise that gravity is not a force as such but the
consequence of mass distorting space/time. Space is an actual physical entity
which can be warped and bent by mass. The greater the mass, the greater the
distortion. In this regard gravity represents an artefact of matter-how weird is
that?
Einstein
predicted that mass should initiate gravitational waves propagated at the speed
of light and ever since physicists have been trying unsuccessfully, until now,
to detect these elusive phantoms of the universe. The problem is that gravitational
waves, or ripples in the fabric of space time, are hard to detect. Only
catastrophic stellar events are expected to produce waves within our modest
capability of detection. Thus, massive twin black holes orbiting each other, or
other prodigious events, are required to produce ripples in space-time large
enough to be picked up on earth.
Enter the LIGO
(Laser Interferometer Gravity Observatory) programme in the US . This
ambitious programme was designed to detect gossamer, ephemeral, gravity waves.
In principle the concept is simple. Shoot light down a 4 km vacuum tunnel and
bounce the light off mirrors thus increasing the distance the light has to
travel. Before the journey the light is split into two rays and off they set in
different directions through the labyrinth. Ultimately the separated light
beams are reunited at a detector. If the beams arrive back at the detector at
exactly the same time, then paradoxically, there is nothing to detect as the
merging light rays cancel each other out. I don't have space to introduce the
concept of electromagnetic wave interference here. However, there are some
great resources on the web and a quick Google search will satisfy your
curiosity for intellectual enlightenment.
According
to LIGO researchers, they managed to detect the union of two black holes 1.3 billion
years ago. The gravitational waves engendered meandered at the sedate pedestrian
speed of 186,000 miles per second and became manifest at earth to impinge on
LIGO's light rays as they pulsed through their 4km plus sprint. This
incredibly faint ghost of the event was picked up by LIGO's detectors in
September last year. You bet someone(s) is going to reap a Nobel prize for this
and deservedly so for detecting a change a thousand times smaller than
the width of a proton. The tiny ripple in space time interferes
with the light beams and when they are reunited they are no longer in perfect phase.
This phase interference can be detected and measured. In fact there are two
detectors, one in Louisiana , the other in Washington . For a result
to be considered significant, simultaneous detection of the gravitational wave is
required by both instruments.
So what
does this mean for the future direction of cosmological research? To date, all
that we know about the universe is down to the detection of electromagnetic
radiation of varying wavelengths. The ability to detect gravitational waves
opens up a whole new vista of research and will allow clever physicists to
explore the nature and fabric of the universe in ways novel and diverse. I will endeavour to inform as the story develops.
Isn't science just fucking wonderful?
Ripples in space and time |
Ya see? If I was stark raving bonkers mad I wouldn't be able to pen such a serious blog article, now would I? soapy tit wank.
Interesting that while net-browsing I came across this 1942 picture just a day or two ago:
ReplyDeletehttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/6f/44/70/6f4470d52cbc62b07ec6245d405c1662.jpg
Just because you're paranoid it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
A coincidence indeed. I must be projecting my brain waves in your direction Mr S.
Delete"...they managed to detect the union of two black holes 1.3 billion years ago..."
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it have been easier and quicker to set their gear up in Parliament some years ago, and just get Nicholas Soames and Cyril Smith in the same room?
I always thought Cyril Smith was just big boned.
ReplyDeleteOnly in the presence of young boys (allegedly, M'Lud).
DeleteI do believe the man was once a scout master. Baden-Powell is spinning, whilst burning, in hell, assisted by Cyril (call me big boy), Smith. Arse.
DeleteThis is all very well and interesting, but I feel I should mention a particular young Japanese man (carrying a rather long package) offered me $30 to provide him with information about where you work. Being the stellar young man that I am, I provided him with a copy of your day-to-day activities that I have meticulously kept track of over the last few months (this is of course inclusive of your various..."movements"). This was under the assumption that the package he was carrying was meant for you - please let me know whence thoust receivith it, you almighty ponce.
ReplyDeleteMy god Matt, you have unknowingly given away my whereabouts to my arch nemesis, Mr Hiroshima Nagasaki, who just happens to be a Japanese sniper of some skill and renown. It will take all the resources under my command and an extremely cunning plan to extricate myself from this very sorry pickle jar. Curses!
ReplyDelete