|A slope with his rifle at a slope|
Whilst viewing Mars with his 20 inch reflecting telescope, Mr Iphone Mugumbo made a startling discovery. Standing clearly on the Martian landscape was a distinct figure of a Japanese sniper carrying his rifle at a slope. In Mr Mugumbos own words:
"I was completely dumbfounded and disconbobulated. Here, clearly before my eyes, I could see a sniper of his 'Majesties Imperial Army'. Even though the soldier was of small stature, I could easily pick out his buck teeth and thick pebble glasses. Later that day I watched as he re-enacted the 'Rape of
thereafter he seemed to take great delight in ceremoniously beheading a rock
with his Samurai sword."
Speculation has been rife about how a Japanese sniper could have travelled to Mars considering the technology of the 1940s. However, Professor Nintendo of Modern Nip and Slope studies thinks it highly plausible considering the advanced state of wok technology in the Imperial Japan of 1942. "Essentially the technology enabling wok design and building is no different from building a space craft capable of inter-planetary flight"' When asked to expand on his thesis, the good professor feigned a grand mal and bit his tongue clean orf in a fit of pique.
Conjecture to why the filthy dirty Japs would send a sniper to Mars has revealed a set of highly plausible scenarios as outlined below:
Plausible Scenario 1. The sniper could have been on a routine flight to
but got lost. Tokyo
Plausible Scenario 2. It could have been planned as pre-emptive strike to prevent the Americans from colonising Mars. If and when they arrived they would be confronted with an appropriately armed Japanese sniper ready and willing to dispense mayhem and consternation amongst the colonists.
But how could a Japanese sniper subsist on a cold, almost airless, waterless, planet without expiring? Apparently Mars is not as forbidding as originally thought. Water not only exists in the arid polar regions but is also present just under the surface thus allowing our Nip to cultivate a rather hardy variety of rice. Furthermore, an extensive KFC franchise has just opened up in the 'Argyre Basin'.
On hearing that a Japanese sniper was ensconced in number 23, Tharsis Rise, the world leader, Mr Ras Putin, vowed to send a space ship sporting a 40 megaton nuclear warhead to obliterate the nasty nip.
God speed, Soyuz 97!
|An artist's impression of the Nip's space craft. Note the aerodynamic lines and handles for booster rockets|