Thursday, 17 September 2015

The Lord moving about, a bit....

Yep, seems plausible to me

The Right Reverend, Dr Peacock Mugumbo, the Bishop of Dudley West (incorporating parts of Sedgley East) has definitive proof that dinosaurs and humans co-existed a mere three thousand years ago. The Bishop, a leading exponent of the 'Young Earth' theory, staunchly believes that the earth, and all its creatures, were created on the 1st of January, at 09.00am (GMT), in 4004 BC by the Lord God.

A minor stumbling block for the 'Young Earth' viewpoint is the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Corroboratory evidence, culled from several disparate disciplines, support the contention that the earth was created 4.5 billion years ago and that dinosaurs became extinct 65 million years before the advent of man. If evidence could be unearthed which show that man and dinosaurs walked the earth together it would land a serious blow to the head of cogent rationality and slap the arse (big fat, arse) of  sound sensibility.

In Bishop Mugumbos own words- take it away, Bish: "Twas Sunday morning and I was pondering on the sermon to be delivered that day on the subject of God's benevolence and mercy, entitled: 'Gypos will be tortured eternally in the midden pit of fiery hell'.  As I cogitated anew I felt a warm glow that only a sanctimonious, unctuous, mealy-mouthed, hypocrite could feel and jauntily reached for the packet of my usual breakfast cereal, 'Oaty, wheaty, toasty, crunchy, amphibious landing craft shaped, rice nipples'. As I tilted the box to scatter the oaty, wheaty, toasty.....(get a grip Flaxen and stop forgetting to take your meds), I could not help notice two diminutive plastic figures tumbling from the box and landing with a splish/splash within the receptacle containing said comestible. On closer inspection, I saw the cunningly fashioned form, in miniature, of an amply proportioned man, perfect in every detail except for the anatomy. I could hardly believe my eyes when I espied betwixt the homunculus and an E series, Mark IV, amphibious landing craft type rice nipple, a rendition, in perfect plastic, of a Cretaceous dinosaur. Surely a message from our all redeeming Lord. This could only mean one thing: Man and dinosaurs existed together in the garden of Eden and feasted exclusively on rice nipples shaped like amphibious landing craft. God certainly moves in mysterious ways".

Currently, the Bishop is on an extended sabbatical at the 'Bide awee sanatorium for befuddled and brain-fucked senior clerics'.            

'Full of amphibious landing craft goodness!'


  1. "...'Gypos will be tortured eternally in the midden pit of fiery hell'..."

    So he does have some good ideas, then...

    1. Harsh but fair. However, I have a list of others I would like to include.