Sunday, 13 September 2015

Death on a Budgie

C'mon smell the roses- they're lovely

Tis spring in Nuzzyland  and a man's thoughts naturally turn to death..... To be honest this morbid thought was not the fruit of dark introspection, but the spawn of my mother (my psychiatrist would have field day with this- not going to tell him though).

I visited my mother the other day and from nowhere she stated that she would like to leave her body to medical research. Frankly I was surprised as my mother has been a Jehovah's Witness for most of her life. Although the past few years she has been less observant- perhaps I have worn her down- the dementia helps. Growing up in a Jehovah Witness household was hard for me especially as I decided to become an atheist at the age of 8. You have no idea what I endured. However, regardless what I had to put up with I steadfastly pronounced my disbelief. I was beaten: this stopped when I became strong as tractor and tall as a tree.  

My atheism means I view death as an end point, not the gateway to an other worldly supernatural existence. Strange isn't it that religions focus their energy on convincing folk that life is just a preparation for afterlife in heaven. And yet it seems, for all their other worldliness, religions are very much rooted to the real world, especially when it comes to money. It fascinates me that the Catholic Edifice is wonderfully wealthy and holds power and sway over the poorest of people. Perhaps the Catholic church should espouse its founder's view and practise humility and more importantly, charity.  

As usual, I'm starting to digress. I have no problem with the concept of leaving a body to medical science. The body, to me, is a vessel and once the spark of life leaves it becomes an impediment. Now there are some who would think this view callous. Great rituals have been thrown up for the dead. In my mind, we should celebrate folk whilst alive, otherwise we are wasting our bloody time and money. This neatly brings me to the cost of dying. To be honest, who can afford to die these days?

In a way, the profession of a funeral director is recession proof. Regardless of economic ups and downs, people are gonna die. We are all on that vast conveyer belt of life and eventually we tip over into the bin of oblivion.  Currently, it costs about $NZ10,000 to remove the corpse of a loved one and place it under the earth or turn it into ash.

As for my passing, they could shove my corpse on the local tip. I wouldn't care, would I?      

I suppose I'm starting to consider my own mortality. It's a terrible thing to become old. Anyway, I reach 60 years in a few months. Is 60 the official designation of old age, or is it the new 50? I have no ambition to be a really old man; has no appeal to me. However, it is unlikely that I will be receiving a telegram (probably an email these days) from the Queen, considering the full life I have led.  

I have never really cared much about government decrees when it comes to living. When I realise my time has come, I will relinquish life and render unto death- but on my own terms.

Strange, but true, my mother's only stipulation is about blood. No blood to be drained and no blood to enter the corpse. Seems to me that the Jehovah's doctrine has not yet left the building. Shame that the JWs don't visit my mother anymore. Since she stopped contributing money, they seem to have drifted far away...... 

Ain't dat the sad truth


  1. I have always been of the opinion, when I have finished with this lot, you can wrap it up in newspapers and stick under a hedge. Mind you, if there is anything of any use to anyone, they are welcome to it.

    Death is the end. Funerals and associated rites are for the living.

    1. I wonder if you could burn the dead for fuel?

  2. If mum (when dead, natch) is keeping her bodily fluids, you could pass her to the JWs as a black pudding.

    I like it when the JWs come to my door and ask,"Have you heard the good news?" I always answer yes and then just shut the door. I'd like to ask them in so I can enlighten them, but life's too short.

    1. Sad but true, I used to invite the buggers in. Because I grew with a JW I understand their doctrine very well. Their arguments are very superficial and generic. They trot out the same refutations which are learnt by wrote. If you challenge their replies they flounder and lean back on faith, which offers no explanation at all. I suspect I have been black-listed as they haven't visited for a couple of years.

  3. The Egyptians burned mummies for fuel, even powered steam locomotives on old mummies.

  4. I've left my body to medical science:- I'm somewhat perturbed to learn that they plan to contest the will...

  5. My brother in law was a funeral director. His father owned a rather large London firm.

    He committed suicide - which says a lot about my sister...