Let them eat Thrips

Next thing you know, the civilised West will be eating frogs

Have you ever thought about eating insects? Probably not. Insect eating is for the folk who have no choice and those strange South Eastern Asians who consider large beetles and crickets a delicacy. Insects, in general, are highly nutritious, full of protein and are bountiful. If only we can get through our aversion of crunching through that chitinous carapace. They are also more efficient at turning what they eat into protein than cattle, sheep, chickens and even ferrets.

With an ever growing population perhaps we should be looking at farming insects. To palliate Western sensibilities, the insects and grubs (lot of nutrition in worms) could be processed into a palatable meal. Thereafter it could be moulded, pounded and cooked into a meal of (arse) your liking.

If you are sheepish/squeamish about eating insects, consider and weep. Apparently we are already ingesting insects inadvertently in our everyday food. Regardless of all the DDT we are spraying on our food, well at least on my tomatoes, them damn pesky critters still manage to make a presence. Here is some stats to make a vegetarian turn into a meat eater. But what about the vegan, you ask?

There are internationally recognised standards for the amount of 'insect material' allowed in food, at least in the civilised countries which bother to monitor this sort of thing. Our food looks wonderfully sanitised and sterile. Everything is packaged in cellophane, canned or looks suspiciously healthy and clean. When was the last time you saw a blemish on an apple or lettuce? But we are far too busy to examine our food too closely........

Insect fragments and even whole insects are allowed in foods to a certain degree. Let us be honest, it is unfeasible to have completely critter free produce no matter how fastidious modern agriculture and subsequent processing may be. The limit is not based on health concerns but more on aesthetics. I wont labour the point but will give a few unpalatable examples, just to whet your appetite. Fig paste can harbour up to 13 insect heads in 100 grams; canned fruit juice can contain a maggot for every 250 millilitres; 10 grams of hops can nuture 2,500 aphids.

Tis deemed that the average Westerner ingests about 2 pounds of insect material every year or about 8 quarter pounders without the cheese or bun. None of this does anyone any harm, except the psychological. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Aesthetics aside, and those insects I can't see, I'll leave the voluntary and involuntary ingestion of insects to the pretentious rich and the poor dark folk. Personally, I prefer a steak, medium rare, to be shared with my faithful ferret, 'Shagger'.

Mr Teapot Mugumbo eating a frog: All civilisation is doomed