Thursday 28 February 2019

The Three Day Challenge


Dear readers, tis with a heavy heart that I have decided to join the afore-mentioned challenge. I swear by all that I hold true and all that I hold dear in my heart, that not a drop of alcohol will pass my lips for the 3 day period: 29th - 31st February. This sacrifice is a test of my resolve and stern character. If I succumb to temptation, may my knee caps move about in ways mysterious and my prostate enlarge to the size of a grapefruit thus causing urinary tract discomfort.

I entreat my readers to accompany me on this quest. Consider the cleansing nature of your abstinence and the hepatic cell regeneration engendered in your volition to eschew the pleasures of the grape or grain. Arse.  

11 comments:

  1. Reluctantly I feel it incumbent upon me to accept your challenge.

    I hereby pledge upon the grave of my great uncle Roderick [the one the family never mentions] that ne'er a drop shall pass my lips on the three aforementioned days. I know it will be tough but we must all make sacrifices.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good man, say I. We need more stout fellas such as your self to spread the appeal to abstinence throughout the land. Slut bucket.

      Delete
  2. I will join you, and furthermore, on those three days my mind will be unsullied by thoughts which are improper, impure, licentious or lascivious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another pure heart enters the fray. We need to gather the hordes and spread the word. Let no man imbibe on those three days of purity. Let, sobriety be our watch word! Suckle bottom.

      Delete
  3. It'll be tough BUT count me in. I'll have a well deserved skin-full on the 1st March as a reward.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Another stout yeoman joins the fold. Your name, Grizwald, will be forever inscribed in the annals dedicated to abstinence. May your loins wax great and your kneecaps only wobble within the prescribed limits. Moist seepage.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nah, bollocks to that!
    I avoid challenges like the plague, so now I must also pledge to avoid this one and drink on every one of those three days

    I'm just not sure how.

    *Googles, "Altering the space-time continuum"*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bucko, I suspect your heavy drinking has caused a lapse in your memory wiping out all consciousness of those three days. Pink splatter.

      Delete
    2. Indeed. Although I feel surprisingly fresh...

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Well it is the 1st March after all! Nifty stink finger sniff.

      Delete