Forget global warming, today's greatest threat to the environment is a ubiquitous chemical contaminant called by the innocuous sounding name, dihydrogen oxide. This chemical is everywhere and adulterates our rivers, lakes and sadly our seas. In fact, everyone has become infested with this insidious chemical. No wonder we are worried, harried and nonplussed.
There is only one cure or anodyne if you wish. Stop ingesting this insipid chemical. Rail against the gods and let fly. Write rants to your elected representatives and demand restitution. Only then can we be really free from chemical servitude.
One day you will die replete with dihydrogen oxide running through your veins and every corpuscle of your wretched, oxidised and chemical ridden corpse. Arse.