|Tipton Beach after the clean up|
Tangible news from Tipton’s only premier beach, ‘Beacho El Tipton’. Today it can be revealed that routine testing of the water lapping against the scum fringed shore has disclosed the presence of human excrement and weapons grade plutonium. Indeed, the whole beach is resplendent and replete with sizzling shit.
|A typical Tipton resident in repose|
|Lead lined bathing suit- not to be used in water|
Mr Khan of ‘Mr Khan’s Cheap and Useless Urban Survival Equipment and Gimp Suits’, had this to say: “Fear not gentle burghers of Tipton, encompassing parts of Netherton North, but excluding Brierley Hill South, for today I have received a consignment of radiation damaged lead lined bathing suits, guaranteed to keep pesky alpha, beta and gamma particles at bay whilst the wearer is immersed in the warm, turbid and suspiciously sticky waters of ‘Crapo del Monte’.
|Rare sighting of the Tipton Love Turbot|
A worried local environmental activist, Mr ‘Four nipples, three thumbs’, Mugumbo, has noted that the once abundant schools of Tipton Love Turbot are on the wane.
|Not all mutations are useless|