A.R.S.E in Tatters

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Breaking news courtesy of the Tipton Independent Football Association (A.R.S.E). After much deliberation, enemas and arsoul searching, 'El Presidente' of A.R.S.E., Mr Slop Bucket, has decided to continue in his exalted orifice amid serious allegations of financial probity. It can be revealed that after a searching probe of A.R.S.E., the organ has come up squeaky clean. Senior auditor, Mr Corrupt Mugumbo issued the following statement: "It's a bleeding liberty, innit. I came to the audit anally retentive and with a closed mind (and an open hand/cloaca) expecting to reveal gross financial misappropriation and fiscal impropriety of gargantuan proportion, only to uncover indisputable pecuniary accountability. At no time did I find the opportunity to extort vast piles from A.R.S.E. No evidence of 'messy doings' going on below. ARSE has come up spanking new and shiny and at no time have sticky fingers been found in mounds of booty nuggets." Cloys under the finger nails something awful. 

Guess who hasn't been taken his blue pills, or the pinks ones?  Normal service will resumed once I'm pharmaceutically compliant