Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Tipton enters the space race

Rocket of doom

The launch of the Tipton space probe is imminent according to the Tipton West Astronautical Team (TWAT). After 6 weeks of break neck research, the space probe aptly and succinctly named: ‘The Pride of Tipton incorporating Netherton West and North Dudley’ will be launched as soon as the officials can locate a box of matches. This momentous occasion is the culmination of intense and highly secret work performed in the public bar of the local hostelry, the ‘Felching Ferret’. The landlord recalls the scene of frenetic actively performed by the dedicated research team and the resident inebriate, Mr Rubicund Visage-Mugumbo: “Mostly  they  sat brooding at the bar consuming copious amounts of Tipton best ale. Mr Visage-Mugumbo regaled all comers with tales of extreme inebriation. On occasion he would brew up and ignite a huge botty burp thus demonstrating the basic principles of interplanetary space travel to anyone who ventured into the blast radius; many a stalwart customer left the establishment bereft of eyebrows."

Shagger in training
 This most prestigious and wondrous space programme was entirely funded by a government research grant of 4 billion dollars. The launch will be presided over by Tipton’s incumbent mayor, Mr Enoch Vowel from his 4 billion dollar Chateau located in the South of France.  Tipton’s first astronaut will be none other than ‘Shagger the intrepid ferret.’ Shagger has undergone intense training at the 'Tipton  Centre for Ferretnauts.’  Most of  Shagger’s training comprised chewing his way through industrial strength polystyrene and consuming small kibble. Go Shagger!

The work was carried out in conjunction with Mr Patel, of ‘Mr Patel’s cheap Chinese firework emporium.’

 An artists impression of  Shagger on the martian surface
Ferret on mars



  1. God's speed Shagger, here is hoping the team manage to find some matches soon.

    1. They're still ferreting around in their cupboards for some...

      OK, I'll get my coat.

    2. Kath, have passed on your heart felt sentiment to Shagger. I only hope he survives the re-entry.......Although he will have to survive the launch first. Still can't find the matches.