|C'mon it's not as if there is no precedent for this sort of thing|
Kim Jong un is now a god, it is official, and you better take heed especially if you live in
Of course the signs have been around since his illustrious birth and
particularly noted by those who are paid for this sort of thing. And prudent
courtiers are well advised to kowtow the party line especially since the much
vaunted shortage of doggy food. North Korea
His birth was full of portents and wonders never seen outside the propaganda machine of a totalitarian closed society.
Kim Jong un was born in a luxurious Dacha on the sacred mountain just outside the capital city of
next to a stable full of partially digested dissidents and well fed dogs. A
radiant red star was seen shooting in the east, although the foolish, never to
be seen again, did aver that it was a missile test gone awry. Shortly
afterwards three wise generals arrived bearing arms/gifts. General Kim Poo dun
proffered the infant prodigy Plutonium 239, Kim Dog well dun bequeathed the two
vials necessary for VX production (check your chemistry), while the third
general, Luca Brasi, brought pasta and wished that his first child, be a
masculine child. I digress. Pingpong
As he grew, he was always taller, faster, more aesthetically pleasing, athletic, better fed and fatter than his peers.
On the road to Pingpong one day he was enshrouded in a bright light and a loud booming sound was heard, as if from afar. Many who were not there at the time, saw this is as a mark of his divinity, while others, who were there at the time, surmised that he had been hit by a piece of errant missile; they were never seen again......
After attending Kun Jong un university, Kim Jong un so excelled in studious intimidation that he was awarded a PhD in all the major disciplines after just one year of insouciant study. During his lunch breaks, of which there were many, he would compose several books on topics so profound and arcane that only he and his pet gerbil, Kim Poo own eat, could understand.
After leaving the hallowed halls of academia he entered the military. His star was in the ascendant and needed no further help from badly constructed missiles (made in China) and he progressed from Cadet to five star general in the matter of six months and five purges (at least two after breakfast).
Of course there are the dissenters, but never in
. Some folk say that he
is nothing more than a nasty, tyrannical, short arsed little slope with a Napoleon
complex. A man drenched in opulence whilst his people live in constant fear of
starvation and the 'knock at the door'. A man who uses crude political gambits
to extort resources out of the gullible West. A man who should shoot his barber
and start eating more salads. They also say that he owes his position of power
solely due to his grandfather's machinations and dynastic ambitions. Suitably
endowed, his father ruthlessly, and without compunction, crushed his opponents
and led his country into military brinkmanship and economic ruin. But then again, they do say that nepotism
tends to run in families......... North Korea
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