Another Fucking, Boring Sunday

Er, the mushrooms are on me

I was always told not to mock the afflicted. But this man's lamentable deformity just begs for comment. You never know, he could be a real fun guy.

Would you like fries with that, sir?

Just a guess, but I suspect this fella doesn't go on many dates. Nice blue eyes though. Shame about the double barrelled snot gun. Could profit from a decent skin cleanser.

You have got to ask. Who steals light beer? 

When he is 20, she will be 103 

Attraction is a strange thing. We are all different in that regard, I suppose. I happen to be attracted to tall, thin, leggy blondes. This bloke likes the older, mature lady. I suspect she is wealthy and he is not. Well, not yet.  

I suppose 'the white man's burden' would be a totally inappropriate caption. So I will refrain on this occasion. 

Sir, is that gun loaded?

Not sure which is more scary, the gun or the stretch marks. I been reliably informed that they fade with age.