Wednesday 12 July 2017

Wednesday Bollocks


Are folk getting dumber? Is the education system of the Free World failing its inhabitants? Why is it that women who obtain a degree in ‘free expression feminist dance’ work in MacDonalds and complain that they can’t get a high paid job as a ‘free expression feminist dance teacher’. Mayhap they should have majored in electrical engineering.  

In a modern world we need less liberal arts graduates and more scientists, engineers, programmers and estate agents. But people without intellectual smarts will always gravitate to the social 'sciences' (no such thing). They do say (the voices in my head, that is) that the service industry is a growth area especially since the decline in the manufacturing industry. So I suppose they are fulfilling a role. I’m sure a degree in philosophy is wonderful for your personal intellectual development just don’t expect to end up as a professional philosopher. Many are called but none are chosen.

This rambling introduction of despair is just a prelude to extreme asinine stupidity. Regard the following images and weep mightily……




Yep not a good idea to swallow a coat hangar or stick them up your arse either. Best just to use them for the casual abortion. You know it makes sense.





Sound advice, I'm sure: breathing under water represents a novel means of respiration and ultimately expiration. Cease and desist! Rain is indeed wet- please note for future reference. Also, be aware that rain tends to make other things, wet.  





This sign is not effective if you are very drunk. A large hole in the wall is easy to aim at and helps to keep the floor free of piss.







It is important to stop at 'stop signs' and further reiteration is vitally important, otherwise you may fail to see the original 'stop sign' and advance into oncoming traffic. As for sitting on the fence. I'm sure this sign is designed for folk who indulge in a particular niche activity. Judging by the bent tip of the 'spiky things', this sign is not effective. 




This library is closed and it stands to reason that it will open at opening time, otherwise it will remain steadfastly closed until it opens. What a strange tautology we live in.





Peanuts do contain peanuts. From a logical position, this 
proposition cannot be faulted. Nuff said.





Arse, big sore arse 

3 comments:

  1. How about :

    "Oven may become hot during use"
    "If door does not open, do not enter"
    "No swimming if you can't swim"
    "Anyone exiting through this door will be asked to leave"
    "Viagra is not for newborns"
    "This sign has sharp edges. Do not touch this sign"

    or my particular favourite :

    "This page has been deliberately left blank"

    Has it fuck! It's got "This page has been deliberately left blank" written on it

    Or one very small sign next to a big hole on a greek island which read "It is dangerous to stand close to this sign" which of course you had to do in order to read it...

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  2. I think I just wet myself. Again.

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  3. Blame the good old USA for exporting worldwide its legal culture of product liability and contingency suing (always taken to utterly ludicrous extremes) for this outbreak of mass idiocy.

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