Wednesday, 30 March 2016


There are some folk who find this image offensive as it mentions a disorder called rheumatoid arthritis (RA) which is not intrinsically funny in itself. In fact, the condition is a chronic debilitating disease affecting a lot more than just the joints and bones. 

My beautiful wife suffers from a very severe form of RA. She has had numerous operations (18) to repair the ravages of the disease. Her right hip has broken on three separate occasions and on each occasion, a successively larger plate has been inserted. The right shoulder joint has been replaced with titanium. Tendons in both hands have been repositioned in an attempt to slow down the inevitable ‘swaying’ of the fingers into gnarled lumps. She has had an emergency operation on her cervical spine and the bones shaved to prevent damage to the spinal cord. Both feet have been operated on. I remember very distinctly the day a screw head popped out the top of Mrs. FS's big toe. O we did laugh all the way to casualty. She has so much metal placed inside her body that she has to carry a special card explaining why she sets off the security metal detectors at airports.

Her medicine is manifold and various and she maintains a chest stocked to the brim with 18 types of tablets and capsules. Her three types of pain medication are based on opiates. My wife jokingly refers to Oxycontin as her 'foo foo' pills. Some pills she takes with food; some are taken on an empty stomach; an intramuscular injection every Thursday and every three months she spends a day in hospital to be infused intravenously.

All the pain, indignity and inconvenience is endured with courage, fortitude, without complaint or whimper, even though she sometimes suffers horrendous torment. And through all this she has nothing but praise for modern medicine and the health professionals who keep sticking her back together, again and again. My wife is indeed a remarkable woman. As she never reads my blog she will never really know my true sentiments because I find it difficult to express this sort of thing to her in person. There are certain standards to be maintained and I am English, after all.

And with all this she has to put up with me. Believe me, when I say I'm not the easiest man to live with.........

As for the 'offended thingy'. If you don't like something, fair enough. Best to avoid it then so you don't get upset. What you shouldn't do is try and force other folk to your viewpoint and especially not by government legislation. I'm sure everything is offensive to someone, somewhere, even stuff which most reasonable people find totally innocuous. But this, of course, raises the problem of what represents a 'reasonable person'. Well, that would be me- I am the benchmark and ultimate standard of reasonableness. And if you don't believe me, I'll come around to your place and smear dog shit on your doorstep.

When my wife first saw this image on a blog I frequent she found it hilarious and said I should steal it for my blog. And I'm never one to ignore sound advice from my spouse

“Those who are determined to be ‘offended’ will discover a provocation somewhere. We cannot possibly adjust enough to please the fanatics, and it is degrading to make the attempt.” 


  1. I can confirm that you are indeed the most reasonable person on the planet second only to my good self...

    Now if you would just pop over and take that dog shit off my doorstep, please?

    Seriously, having met your good lady we think she is an absolute bloody star - especially for putting up with you!

    1. I'll send my Maltese dog, Loki, to 'pick up' the shit. He is very good at hoovering up turds on the pavement. As for the missus putting up with my quirks and eccentricities: Ain't much of a life.... I suppose she must love me.

  2. I've had psoriatic arthritis since my early 20's. Nothing like your good lady though.

    Like you, I find many things amusing - not least the antics of the dedicated/professional outragees who are so often "offended" on behalf of a third party, when most of the time the said third party either couldn't give a toss or is somewhat amused.

  3. Ted, do you remember the 'Singing Detective'. As I recal, the main character was afflicted with your condition.

  4. Indeed I do - and I also remember the nurses greasing his skin by hand, and I think it was Hale & Pace who sent it up, with the larger of them having his nether regions repeatedly greased by a stunning nurse.

    Fortunately for me, my psoriasis is mostly just patchy on my elbows & knees, although stress/worry tends to bring it on on my shins and feet (?)

    I've long since stopped caring about it, though: it just looks unsightly but is apparently otherwise harmless - unlike the arthritis that goes with it. That is sometimes a real pain...