Friday, 18 April 2014
"The King is Dead, Long Live the King"
"Elvis has left the mental health ward"
There are some folk who think that Elvis died in 1976 on a toilet seat. Some say he was abducted by aliens, and as I write, is being extensively, anally probed. Thirty eight years of anal probing may seem excessive, but a life time diet of fried peanut butter and banana butties have left their mark. The aliens will need access to industrial strength lasers to carve a path through decades of impacted faecal matter. No matter, aliens who have mastered intergalactic travel will have no problem developing such sophisticated anal probing technologies. So, not to worry then: Elvis is in good hands.
On a banal note. When I lived in Tipton, West Midlands, there was a chap who worked in the local fish and chip shop who claimed he was Elvis. He couldn't sing for shit but he could batter and deep fry a snickers bar in double fast time. Thank you very much.