Wednesday, 10 February 2016

Have you heard the good news?

HANG ON! These are Morons 
Why do Jehovah's Witnesses always travel in pairs? I suppose it is one of the universe's impenetrable mysteries. Sadly, the JWs no longer knock on my door. I suspect I have been placed on their 'Blacklist'. Quite an accolade especially as they are directed to proselytise to all. And it is not as though they are concentrating their evangelism on more worthy neighbourhoods. I often see them floating about my area and let's face it they are easy to spot. To be honest, my neighbourhood has a certain reputation as a hot bed for 'swingers' Too many 30 something professional couples with too much time on their hands. Lots of sinners of questionable morals waiting to be saved by the men in suits.

When we first moved to the area we received their ministrations for about a year. I know most folk consider the JWs a minor irritation but I was always welcoming and polite. I would enthusiastically invite them in for a 'chat'. I could see the joy in their faces as they contemplated a miraculous conversion. Hallelujah, Brother! Once they were comfortably seated sipping tepid tea and munching on rich tea bikkies, I would unleash my opening gambit: "The concept of  God is irrational and contradictory- discuss". At this stage, I would receive a smile that didn't quite reach their eyes and the pair would exchange worried glances. And so it would begin......

Their stock response to questions of this ilk, and there is always a stock response, is to fall upon the argument of the Reverend Paley. I'll not go into Paley's riposte here, although I've added a link for the curious. Suffice to say it is a piss poor argument and easily refuted.

Indeed, all doctrines of the JWs are easily refuted. Tis all very superficial. Although they state they are engaging in a rational debate, they are doing no such thing. There is no real depth to their arguments and when you push them into the contemplation of the metaphysic and rational they flounder like a floundery thing. Cruel  I know, but I have been made so by the delightful JWs themselves.

I grew up in a Jehovah's Witness household. I realised from an early age that the so-called doctrine was a load of horse shit. I was prone to ask questions and was always provided with stock, glib and ready made answers and when I questioned the 'answers' I was referred to the Elders. The Elders would come forth with their second tier answers, replete with warnings and injunctions about the 'fool' who asked too many questions. I was soundly given the impression that the prudent JW should shut the fuck up and take on board the doctrine without discussion or dissension. Of course, I was stubborn, so I received the third tier approach which involved physical beatings. To be honest, this approach was counter productive. I still asked provocative questions but I became inured to the beatings. Of course we are going back to the early 1960s, I'm sure methodology has changed a lot since then. By the time I was 10 I knew I was an atheist and the beatings didn't bother me. In fact, it has become enshrined in the family motto: "Strength through pain". Shout that out on your child's sports event to invoke the full displeasure from other parents.

If the person we ultimately become is governed by our early informative experiences, and to a large extent I do believe this to be the case, then I have to admit that my childhood brush with JWs has left an imprint on my body (I have the scars) and my soul. Luckily I don't have a soul, so I'm left totally unscathed in that direction. Phew! As for the mental welts, and memories, I've placed them in a dark mental vault and they can only be accessed when I can be bothered to bring forth the right mental key. As I age I'm less inclined to delve too deep into that area of my psyche. Too frequent access would likely tip me over the edge and invite frank madness. Arse bucket akimbo.


  1. One thing about the Mormons tho' - they do all have really tidy haircuts...

    1. Nice boys, indeed. Well groomed by their 'superiors', I'm sure.....

  2. Bonus Bagging Review

    As the national hunt horseracing season heading towards its climax with the Cheltenham Festival in March followed by the Grand National in April, interest in two of Britain's biggest and most popular betting events is set to reach fever pitch. If you've never placed a bet on either of these events, now may be the time to do so. However, betting on horseracing can seem intimidating, and conjures images of men who haven't changed their clothes since the 1970s standing in long queues in grubby inner-city betting shops.