Tuesday, 8 December 2015

The quintessence and spirit of the 'Romany way'

Gypo encampment akimbo
A travelling band of wandering 'gypsies' have set up camp on the outskirts of Tipton in a rural area of outstanding natural beauty. A local social worker, Miz Leftwing Mugumbo has welcomed the influx of itinerant folk and revels in the quaint diversity brought forth by 'a people' dripping in cultural vibrancy.

Beloved, nomadic, romantic, law abiding and revenue eschewing peregrinators of quaint deportment and mien.

During their sojourn in Tipton, 'The Travellers' are expected to add a touch of colour and human waste to the picturesque countryside. The loss of personal items from clothes lines, from gardens, from garden sheds should in no way be attributed to the law-abiding folk of no fixed abode. Similarly the expected spike in violent incidences in the local hostelry, ‘The Felching Ferret’ will not be ascribed to this most pacific and sober of people.    

Once their feet become itchy (tinea pedum) they will vanish into the night leaving behind an indelible imprint of their passing, on the land, and on the hearts and minds of the locals.

They will be sadly missed by the good burghers of Tipton as they cuntemplate the extensive/expensive clean-up operation. 

No, I don't want to buy a fucking peg/pig


  1. Surely the picture of elegantly arranged artefacts shows their submission for the Turdner prize? It's better than Tracey Emin's bed full of crap.

  2. We don't have Travellers in The Canadas.
    Too big
    Too cold

  3. Go on, admit it, you were going to name the pub "The Felching Ferret", but thought it a bit rude.

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  5. Thanks for pointing it out Dan- Tis a typo, I will amend forthwith. Can't spell for buggery.